


He was fire and she was water

by Vini_Fae



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben was dead and then not, Diego smut, F/M, I still want to keep writing, I wish there were more fanfics about TUA, Im just making this as I go, Its all about Diego, Luther isnt an ape-man, Obvious plot change, Soft Diego, Sorry im shit at this, The apolocalypse doesnt happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-01-30 15:49:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21430747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vini_Fae/pseuds/Vini_Fae
Summary: She walks in, and cools him down. She's ready to just give up and let go. He's just starting to feel something.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves/Diego Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Reader, Diego Hargreeves/Reader, Number Five | The Boy/Ben Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves/Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

You were beyond tired. You couldn’t feel your arms nor your legs. Nothing. You shut your eyes and watched the world pass you by from inside the car. Your ears rang. Memories flashed in front of you, but you didn’t want to remember. You didn’t want to know. You had been crying for days at the orphanage. Now you just felt, dry, and your throat hurt terribly. The limo eventually came to a stop. There was movement. Someone opened the door, but you didn’t move. You couldn’t bring yourself to do anything. All you wanted to do was to stop thinking. To stop being _there. _You wanted to disappear. To cease existing. You felt someone pull you out. You couldn’t will your legs to move. A gentle tug, and then a forceful pull. You stumbled and fell face-forward on stairs. Tasting blood, you smirked softly to yourself. Maybe you could just die right here. Closing your eyes you let all your strength and will disappear.

Diego POV

Everyone had gathered at the drawing room. It wasn’t by choice, but when the old man gave an order, that was that. Diego felt annoyed, itchy. All he wanted was to get back at practicing. All he wanted was to keep going with practice. Spending time with his siblings wasn’t _unpleasant, _but it was certainly something he could do without. The front door flew open and Reginald Hargreeves ran inside. No one had ever seen him _run. _He shouted, “Grace, get over here right now! Children, you’re dismissed. Go to your rooms.” Before anyone could say anything, he turned and glared at all of them. “NOW!” he shouted. He looked tired, and almost a little frightened. Like he was at his wit’s end. Mom ran out and while everyone started to walk back, Diego hung back. He craned his neck to see what it was Mom carried back in, and gasped as he saw a hand fall and hang through the drapes. Blood dropped from its fingers. He ran up the stairs and straight into Klaus’ room.

As he stepped in, the smell of smoke hit you. Coughing, he went over and opened the window, letting the cool air hit him. Klaus was draped over the bed, his head hanging off the edge of the bed, his knees bent and touching each other. “Well, that was a waste. I told you I should’ve taken my time. And to think-“he said, turning over, “-you had me throw away a perfectly well0rolled joint. Tsk tsk, brother dear.” He purred. Diego shook his head at his brother, sat on the window sill. “It was a body.”- He said, taking out a knife and tossing it in the air, catching it, tossing it again. “I wouldn’t put it past him.”-said Klaus, taking a long and deep drag of the joint he held between his fingers. Diego heard him moan in delight, letting the rest of it flow out of nose, and finally through his mouth. Klaus had a drug problem, but it was one he needed to survive.

Diego didn’t need substance. He needed excitement. He needed to be on his toes _all _the time. Until he over-came his stutter, he was a mess, weak, fragile. He had to keep all that at bay, and the only way to do it was to train, to run, to be on his toes. He frowned at the clouds gathering in the sky. There was no prediction of rain earlier in the day. A dark look took over his face. His grabbed the knife from the air and threw it at the door. “Watch it!” he heard Luther say. Turning back he smirked at Number one’s shocked face. He always got him. “What did you see?” he asked, walking over to Diego. Cocking his head to a side, Diego faced his brother. “And what makes you think I saw?” he asked, haughtily. He did not like the company of Luther the most. He was presumptuous, cowardly, opinionated and always jumping to conclusions. Always trying too hard to become like dad. “C’mon, I saw you. What did you see?” he pushed, placing his hands over his hips and trying to look threatening. The look had the opposite effect and Diego did not suppress his laughter. “Oh c’mon guys, there’s no need to fight.” Klaus’ voice rang through, sing-songy like. “He saw a body. Our daddy’s done something very _very _naughty.” He said.

Luther shook his head and walked back to the door and opened it. “You guys are ridiculous. Dad would never go that far.” Klaus burst out laughing and Diego rolled his eyes. Their father would go as far as he could with everyone and anyone. Ben had died directly because of dead. Because he didn’t want to keep going, and dad pushed him too much. Shrugging against the cold air, Diego closed the windows and walked towards the door. He couldn’t wait to leave.

As he got out, he watched mom walk up the stairs and into Ben’s room. She had the body in her arms, and opened the door, closing it behind her as quietly as possible. After a while she came out, and closed the door behind her. She took a key out, and hesitated. She looked like she’d changed her mind, and put the key back into her apron. Diego looked behind him and motioned to Klaus to follow him. Klaus was always up for an adventure. The two of them tip-toed into the room as soon as mom was out of sight. “Ready?” Diego whispered to Klaus. A giant grin was pasted on his face. Nodding, he tried to open the door as quietly as possible. Walking in, the scent of the room hit them. He stopped and inhaled it deeply, and he heard Klaus do the same behind him. Ben’s death had hurt all of them. He hadn’t got over it. And he doubted he ever would. He felt a hand on his back, his eyes opened wide, nodding at Klaus. They went over to the bed, to look at the sleeping figure. She was skinny, pale, one of her eyes were bandaged around her head. There was something about her. Just something. Klaus reached over and tried to pick up the blanket she was under but Diego stopped him. “Aw c’mon. If she’s dead, at least we could have a look at he-““Shut up.” Diego snapped back. Sometimes his brother just didn’t have any sense. Slapping his hand off the blanket, Diego walked back to the door. He noticed before closing the door that the clouds had dispersed in the sky.

Your pov

You woke up, and shot straight up. You were in a bed room. It smelt old. You rubbed your eye where you’d been hurt and couldn’t feel anything. Looking down, you noticed that your hands were bandaged. _Can I … yeah... still got fingers... and toes. _You thought. You shrugged and fell back into the soft bed. When you closed your eyes, you saw the building, up in flames. You couldn’t hear anyone screaming though. It was very quiet. You remembered waking up in smoke. Running through every room, looking for everyone. No one was where they should’ve been. Eventually, when you went higher, you saw the first body. And then so many _many_ others. Burnt. You felt the smell in your throat, and unable to control yourself, threw up over the side of the bed. Someone had the good sense to leave a bucket out. You fell back into the bed, heaving, and breathing rasp. You never wanted to look at fire again. At burnt anything. You shook your head, the tears filling you up. You hadn’t known anyone in there long enough to mourn truly. But it was still a loss. Truth be told, you didn’t know much. About anyone or anything. You were given a meal three times a day, you were always alone in a room. You would talk to someone on and off. But that was about it. You watched the news in the enormous tv room while it was “social time”. You remembered watching about the 7 in the Umbrella Academy, 7 who were adopted by the rich and mighty Reginald. Everyone in the orphanage had one thing in common. You were all born on October 1st 1989\. You remembered the room again, this time before you had found yourself outside. It was dark, sparks going off in corners. The TV was on the floor, in pieces, there was glass everywhere. You remembered stepping on it, feeling one go through your foot, and screaming in agony when you tore your foot out of it.

Losing blood was not a big deal. But you know you didn’t have any particularly cool super power. You had one. It wasn’t in anyway significant. It was, at most a parlor trick. You felt the emotions crash into you. All you wanted was for everything to go away. To be left alone. You got up, wincing at the pain in your body. Forcing yourself up, you walked over to the window. It opened easily. Staring out, you watched the thunder clouds rolls in, fast. Smiling, you climbed up, and sat with your legs dangling out. It was a rush of emotions. And it was good. You raised your arms, and wondered if you should just let yourself fall. The wind whipped in your face, scratching at your bandaged eye. You tried to move it, and felt nothing under the eyelid. Maybe you didn’t have one anymore. You didn’t know.

You pushed yourself up, and held on to the top of the window, pulling yourself up. You easily brought yourself up, and used your legs to climb onto the roof. You smiled as you heard the thunder. You liked the thunder. You were never allowed to go outside. They said it was too dangerous. You felt something inside you hum with the next clap of thunder. When you opened your eyes, you saw the lightening zig zag across the air. It was the most beautiful thing you’d heard. You felt contented. Arms outstretched, you waited. You waited to connect with what would reach you. And when it did, it was _glorious. _

Diego POV

He walked back to his room, feeling antsy. Something was wrong. Nothing made sense. Why was a girl in Ben’s room? Had their father gone out and hurt someone? Was he _really _capable of going that far? And the clouds. Diego always made a point to be updated about _everything_. Why had the weather changed so drastically? It made no sense. And now there was thunder! It was like the world decided to stop making sense. Slamming his bedroom door behind him, he grabbed knives and threw them all over.

He reached over to turn on the lights, to check if they’d all reached their intended targets, when there was a flash outside. Diego frowned and ran over to the window. He couldn’t believe. It. The clouds were rolling in quickly. Faster than he’d ever seen. A resounded clap of thunder filled the room. He looked out and heard something. Stepping over the window sill, he narrowed his eyes, trying to focus at the sound. He gasped and dread overcame him. _She _was climbing up the roof. He tried to yell and shout at her, but she didn’t seem to hear him. _Fuck! _He jumped into his room and ran, trying to get to Five. _Five could help. _Yanking the door as fast as he could, he yelled “Wake up! Get up to the roof!” His brother stayed on the bed, a chalk in his hand. He turned around, his eyes filled with annoyance. “Excuse me? What the hell are you talking about? And I’m busy. “He said, turning back to the wall, which was littered with equations. “There’s someone on the roof, and if you don’t get her down, there’s a good chance, dad won’t be pleased. “Diego said, breathing hard. He had to convince his brother to go. “C’mon man. I’ll do your laundry for the next fucking week. I know how much you wink off. Just fucking get her down to Ben’s room. Dad brought her here.” He said, almost pleading. Five jumped off the bed, shaking his head. “Goddamnit! Breathe a word of this-“he snarled, “And you’re dead.” Diego nodded at him, sweat at his brow. Wiping it off, he ran into Ben’s room. And waited.

There was another flash of thunder, and after a few seconds, Five reappeared. And he looked shocked, and scared. He staggered back and fell on his butt. The girl was in front of him. And she was _smoking_. From her hair, her fingertips, everything about her was just _electrifying. _She frowned and opened her eyes, which widened. Looking around, her eyes met his. He felt something inside him clench, and unravel. Her eyes were dark. _Like his. _Her hair dark, wet and limp. Her arms fell to her sides, and something flashed across her face. It was anger, and then sorrow. And just as immediately, it was blank. She looked over at Klaus, and cocked her head to the side. “Ar----ar—are you o-k?” Diego said, stuttering through. “Is she ok? IS SHE OK? Godamnit! She was being electrocuted in front of me. She was IN the fucking lightening! And you had me go grab her! I could’ve died! Is she ok? No ‘thank you’ Five. No nothing Five.” Five went on, grumbling, standing up. “You _owe _me, D” he said, his voice dripping with acid. And then he was gone. The girl turned and walked towards the window. Diego got there faster and pulled it close. The winds had slowed down. _So she had some power. _He heard her behind him and whipped around, his face inches away from hers. She looked angry. She just kept staring at him, her eyes no longer blank. There was a fire inside them. And he wanted to so much to stroke it. To push it. He stared right back and opened his mouth, but no words came out. They stared at each other, until her eyes started to droop. She blinked back, and looked very _very _tired. Diego raised his hand, showing her he wasn’t a threat was important. “I’m on your side. Whatever happened, I’m with you. Just, don’t go climbing out and raising a storm. “She shook her head, and he held her hand softly. It was small, and stubby. And cold. Refreshingly cold. He walked her back to the bed and gestured at it. “Get some rest. You’ll feel better later.” He felt his confidence come back as she nodded and climbed back into the bed. She didn’t let his hand go, and he tucked the blanket around her. There was something about her that made him _want _to protect her. She tugged at his hand, it was just for a second, and then she let it go. Just like that, she was asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So You've woken, and you sort of understand where you are. But you aren't ready for everything else.

Your pov.

When you woke up, you were alone again. You always had the feeling that someone was with you at night. It was a nice feeling, to not feel alone in the dark, in the night. Pushing yourself up, you closed your eyes, and sighed. It was nice while it had lasted. The quiet. You stood up, and stretched. Your wounds healed quickly, and you were unable to feel anybody else for a couple of days and it was wonderful. When the door creaked, you turned around, and sat back down on the bed. That was what you were always meant to do. “Good morning! You look so much better now!” said the woman. You didn’t mind her at all, because she didn’t make you _feel _anything. And that was brilliant. You smiled at her and looked at what she had brought.

It always baffled you, how she was able to carry so many things at once. And she always smiled. You were itching to get up and take a look as she’d started to put things on the table across you. “You could just come over and take a look you know? No one bites here.” she replied, to your fidgeting. You smiled shyly and went over to her. You weren’t one for rules, but if it they weren’t worth breaking, well, then that would just be silly.

You craned over her neck and gasped at everything. There were, _cookies, _the lady had called them, and milk. And the bottle of pills she’d always brought you. It made you drowsy, but you didn’t complain. And _clothes. _So many clothes. You reached out to touch them, stopping yourself inches away and looking back at the woman. She seemed to almost glow, and clapped her hands. “I gather you like your new clothes? I wasn’t sure what your favorite colors were so I just chose for you. You could always tell me and then I’d be able to get better – Oh!” she was cut off, as you hugged her tightly. You never owned anything before. You felt the tears well up and let them fall. You felt like your chest swell in gratitude. “Thank – you.” You mumbled into her apron and pressing your face against her.

Her hands petted your back, and your head. You felt safe in this embrace. You imagined she felt things too. But maybe you just couldn’t feel them anymore. Letting go of her, you slowly stepped to the table. Looking around, you couldn’t figure out which one to wear. It was--- almost suffocating to have so many choices.

“You can choose whatever you like. And THIS-“, she picked up a few articles, “are the Academy’s uniform. You would have to wear them during the day, and during training, or missions. But don’t worry. You won’t be doing any of those until you recover completely. “

She helped you put them on. You couldn’t stop turning around and around, watching the skirt lift off you and down. It was mesmerizing. Looking at the mirror in front of you, you stared at your reflection. You hadn’t ever really seen your face before, and the past few days gave you enough time to get used to seeing another face in the room, besides _her._ You looked back at her and smiled. “If you’re up for it, you could join us all for dinner.” She said. “All?” you replied softly. Her chest inflated in what looked like pride, but felt like nothing, “I have children here, seven of them. Well, six now,” she faltered. You sensed the change in tone, and heard the sadness, but still, felt nothing. You held her hand tightly, trying to reassure her the best you could. You didn’t want her smile to go away. She was pretty. “Well, you’re the eighth one!” You stared up at her, your smile wiped off. “How?” you asked her. You were pretty sure you were one of the children born on October 1st. But you certainly couldn’t be _her_ child. “Have you ever heard of the Umbrella Academy?”

\----

Walking down the stairs behind the woman, you tried to wrap your head around what you had just heard. _You _were in the Umbrella Academy. What you didn’t understand was _why. _You weren’t nearly half as special as the others. You did have power, but it wasn’t very useful. When you’d asked ‘Mom’ what had happened to the place you were at before, she just shook her head and told you that it wasn’t her place to tell you yet. You found it very suspicious that she didn’t ask _you _what had happened. Which meant she already knew. Or thought she did.

You had a vague idea what had happened. It was going to happen someday, but you always thought that you would go up in smoke along with everyone else. Thinking back, you could almost smell the smoke, the ash and feel the heat on your skin. Suddenly, every step you took made it harder to breath. Stopping, and leaning against the rail of the stair, you forced yourself to breath. _Mom _turned around and frowned. As she took a step towards you, you shook your head. “Not tired. Just--- ok.” You said to her. Your voice was raspy. Forcing yourself, you kept moving. _One step at a time. _When you finally reached the bottom of the stairwell, you felt completely washed. Like you had climbed uphill. You had a feeling that the pills had something to do with that. That, and the over-whelming atmosphere. So many emotions were in the air, intermingling. You looked up at Mom, and watched her speak to someone. You closed your eyes, trying to focus on her voice, until everything else drowned out. Eventually, you were able to bear with it, and looked to see who she was talking to. It was a huge room, with a long dining table. And at the table were _all of them. _“And that’s number 8. I’m sure you have many questions for her, but do remember that she’s recovering. I hope we can all get along with each other. In fact, I’m rather sure we can.” She beamed at you, and you had a feeling that she wanted _you _to put the first foot forward. But you didn’t want to. You took a step back but felt her palm behind you, softly pushing you ahead. You felt like a child. Looking back in front of you, you _felt them. _And all their eyes. There was no one at the front of the table, and with so many chairs, you had no idea where to go. You immediately cast your eyes down. It was hard enough trying to not be over-whelmed by the atmosphere, but now you had to _choose! _You knew immediately that _that _would be your most daunting task. You felt a hand tug at yours, and you followed it, to a seat next to another girl. Sitting down, you felt someone push your chair in. You stared at your hands, one in the other, and fumbled with them.

You tried to focus on all the emotions in the air instead. A nudge to your side forced you to look up. Everyone was still staring at you. “Number 8! You will respond when spoken to. Is that clear?!” came a stern voice. _Oooooh! _Now this was an emotion you knew. You craned your head forward and looked exactly where it was coming from. He was the _Dad. _Oh you knew about him. You nodded at him and leaned back into your chair. Looking over to the girl next to you, you whispered, “Thank you”. She jumped, and looked at you, and immediately away. _Fear, anxiety, panic, self-hate. _She just radiated with negativity. It was hard to look away once you felt it. You placed your hand over hers on her knees and sucked it up. Moving your hands away, you saw her look at you, the shock of lack of emotions evident. Her skin immediately got better. You looked back at your hands. So you hadn’t lost your abilities. So why hadn’t worked with _Mom?_

You felt nausea hit you. You clamped a hand over your mouth, trying to stifle the sounds that your body wanted to make. You choked as you felt the cookies rise inside you. This was the part. The nasty part. You felt the atmosphere reach, and _move into you. _You must not have recovered completely. You stood up so fast that your chair made a resounding creak against the hardwood floor. You heard the old man shout, but you were already running on your way back to your room. You didn’t make it in time, and fell forward, throwing up through your mouth and nose, the acidity burning through you.

You felt the fire on your skin.

You felt the pain of someone dying.

You felt the anguish of someone waiting to die, to make the pain go away.

The fear of someone trapped.

The feelings mingled inside your head, and your heart. It was intense. It was hard.

And then it slowed down. You tasted the last of the milk you had downed earlier and spat it out. Opening your eyes, you stared at the carpet. You should feel horror. You should feel ashamed. But you didn’t. Instead you were mad. You were pissed.

Wiping your mouth on the back of your sleeve, you steadily got up. You felt a palm on your back and looked up to see Mom again. You looked back down at the mess you’d just made. “I’m sorry. I’ll clean it-“Nonsense! You’ll go back to the dining room and join the others. I’ll take care if this!” she said, and patted your back harder. “You make it sound like it’s nothing.” You stated, looking hard at her. There was no reaction, just a big smile. Maybe she was weird. She had to be to be everyone’s mother here.

“K”, you replied, as she stood her ground. You actually felt like yourself now, your strength returning. You took the handkerchief she gave you and wiped your mouth. You hadn’t messed your uniform, but your knees were skinned from the carpet on the floor. Walking back to the dining room, you felt the air differently. It was less tense than earlier. Easier. You walked in and sat back down, sighing and leaning against the back of the chair. “Sit up straight, Number 8! And you will only leave once I give you permission to.”

“Would you rather I have thrown up all over myself and everyone’s dinner?” you replied. There was a gasp and stoic silence. “I did not give you-““Oh cut the crap!” you shouted back. You were just so _mad! _“What did you expect would happen? I walked in here and the atmosphere is just so---so---_warped! _It’s your fault that I felt like that.” You kept going.

Still silence. “If you break another rule-“you groaned ,”You will be punished!” he shouted. You could feel his anger, and it coursed through you. “I’m breaking your rules because _YOU’RE MAKING ME!” _you shouted back. “Don’t you get it?! I feel what you feel. I feel what _EVERYONE _feels!”

Focusing down at your hands, you tried to take longer and harder breaths. It was so so _hard. _“Well then we just have to train you to control your emotions-““_MY EMOTIONS?!” _you said, incredulously. _The nerve!_

“YES! Your emotions!”

“It’s your fault I’m so angry. If you calm down, so will I, you big skinny sad sack of old stinky socks!” you felt yourself go. You heard a snigger somewhere and clamped a hand over your mouth.

“Number three. Use your powers to calm her down!”

“I heard a rumor that you weren’t angry.”

“Well I heard a rumor you liked taking it in the ass.” you replied, seething. Someone sniggered and you looked around to two boys trying really hard not to laugh, and when you looked at the girl who’d spoken, she was just bright pink. You were so so _mad! And tired. _

Rubbing your hand against your forehead, you bit into your lower lip. _Ugh. Every time. _

“Look this was not the first impression I was counting on. I’m… sorry, but you have to understand. Everything I feel. _EVERYTHING, _is someone else’s emotions. The anger, hurt, anxiety, panic, fear, hate, lust, greed, pride, arousal, all of it! It’s not me. I’m sorry,” you said this time addressing the girl, and then the man at the end of the table. “You lot need to get _your _emotions under control. Or leave me locked in a box. Which you know I was in for the past, what 16 years? Didn’t you ever wonder why?!” you said looking at the man.

You didn’t _feel _apologetic, but you knew you should. There was silence. You sighed, and waited. The air was certainly getting calmer, but you had a feeling that was something to do with the girl having rumored under her breath to her father. “Fine.” Said the monocle.

“But you need to learn to control your powers. To reduce or increase your range. So that you can enter society-“ You rolled your eyes at this. _Right! _

“And to work with your team” You looked at the others. They were either looking at the ceiling, each other or the floor, except for one pair of eyes. One pair of dark dark eyes, that bore into you. You felt your face heat up, ears warming up. You _liked _those eyes. You _liked _the way those eyes looked at you.

“Is that clear?” you heard the man say.

You weren’t sure what he had said, but you weren’t about to argue. Clearing your throat, “Yes” you replied.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She reveals a bit of her past, and he's still learning.  
Everyone's getting to know OC and what happened.  
Dad has a change.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Several days later, you had a grasp of the on-goings at the Academy. You didn’t _feel _the woman, because she was a robot. She had programs, not emotions. But there was still something about her that felt… real.   
Luther had super strength, and he felt like an ass. _Proud, arrogant, condescending._  
Diego could throw anything with precision. _Anger, hatred, compassion._  
Alison could rumor anything into reality. _Greed, lust, envy.  
_Klaus could see and talk to the dead. _Gluttony, lethargy, panic.  
_Five could jump into any space. He was working on time-travel. _Arrogance, lust, greed.  
_Vanya could turn invisible and play the violin like an angel. _Self-hate, panic, sad._

They all had two emotions in common. Fear of the old man, and love for each other. You were on pills most of the time, and those enabled you to deal with being in everyone’s presence longer. No one called you anything, because there wasn’t any need to talk. No one asked, and you didn’t push it. You were always drowsy, always by the woman. She once asked you what she should call you and you shrugged it off. You didn’t care. You never had a name, just a number you never bothered remembering. It was irrelevant. _You were irrelevant._ Or so you had been told.

After one week, you were _summoned _to the drawing room, and joined the others. The old man walked out, and you focused all your attention at the clock. _Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. _It kept you calm. As long as you didn’t focus on the air, on the atmosphere, everything _should _be fine. He finally spoke. “Alright then, you’ve all had seven days with each other. I hope you used that time well.” You could’ve rolled your eyes into another dimension. They’d all avoided you like the _plague. _Even Dark-Eyed Diego. You liked looking at him. He always caught you watching. And you would always keep staring anyways. “I’d like to start for you to train. And eventually, you can train with the others. You need to gather your strength if you are to keep up here at the Academy. Can you please demonstrate your power to all of us right now?” You felt something shift in the air. _He said please. _Looking over at the others, you had a feeling that they too noticed this, change in conversational etiquette.

“Outside”, you replied. You didn’t like to talk. You didn’t like your voice.

“That is unnecessary. The house is perfectly capable of withstanding any kind of-“

“But they aren’t”, you replied cutting him off, and cocking your head to the rest of the people.

You felt the air change. You felt the man in front of you shift uncomfortably. You sighed and turned around, walking to the door that opened up to the back of the mansion. There was a huge and beautiful garden in the back. You loved the garden. The grass was alive. The flowers were alive. The earth was _alive_. Everything was balanced here. You took your shoes off, and then rolled your socks off.

“Stay back”, you said over your shoulder. Over the last few days, you’d practiced with the Woman. You’d managed to tap into the range of your power.

Walking into the garden, you stopped at a place that seemed right enough._ A deep breath in, and a deep breath out. _You waited to feel _them. _

_They _always came for you. You heard the thunder and smiled. Opening your eyes you looked up. It was lovely. You reached up, and saw the clouds roll in. You watched the light reach down to touch you. You felt _it. _You felt the surge of electricity inside you. It was alive. It was amazing. It was pure and clean.

You felt it retract and pulled your hand back. You tried to will the clouds to move. But it didn’t work. You smelt smoke. You smelt the fire. You _felt _the fire. You fell down to your knees and hugged them. _Breathe in, and out. _You knew what was happening. You knew this was, what the Woman called a _Panic attack. _

You waited for it to pass. And then you got up, sighed and turned back around to look at the others. You could _feel _their fear. Their awe. That was new. There was never _awe _before. You walked back to them and felt, suddenly, very exposed. As you reached back, you looked down at your dirty feet, and waited.

“Incredible! Simple incredible!” said the old man. “You must learn to harness, and control the lightening. Perhaps its electricity. This is marvelous. We have much to do.” You sighed and looked up at him. “I’m sorry. It doesn’t work like that.” You said, feeling very small. “I’m sorry, but they tried with the electricity. They had me strapped, electrocuted, powered, everything short of frying my brain. But-“you shivered, remembering what it had felt like, “it doesn’t work like that. Besides the emotion thing, I can summon a storm, and withstand lightening. And that is all.” You looked back at your feet, and wiggled your toes. “I’ll see about that.” You heard the man say. You knew what he wanted to do. The fear everyone felt was well founded. You _knew. _“I am not interested in your experiments. I am willing to try with the other one. The one with the emotions and feelings and all that crap.” You felt a bit of courage come back. “I appreciate your bringing me here, and putting clothes on my back and feeding me and all that. But I didn’t ask for it. My only assumption is that you’ve known about me, and you’ve been trying to get me. Or at least you _ended up _with me. Why were really there?” You stopped there. You wanted to hear his side. “_Why _did you get me?” you asked.

“Ah, it is irrelevant.” “I will walk out of here and you won’t be able to stop me. I’ll stay _if _you’ll tell me.” you said. After felt like an hour, “Fine. Inside.”

Diego’s POV

She was _incredible. _Absolutely incredible. There were times he wondered. She would always stare. Everything she looked at, she stared at. The clock, her hands, her feet, the floor, _him. _It wasn’t unnerving, but it wasn’t comfortable. Watching her call the clouds, call the lightening, it was magical. He knew about the nightmares. She didn’t scream. She didn’t have to. He’d checked on her every night. It’d become a part of his routine. Just making sure she was still in bed. That she was still _there. _When she toss or turn, he’d hold her hand. And she’d squeeze it. And he felt all the stress of the day drain out of him. All the angst, the anger, the hatred. Everything, would just go away. He knew it was going into her, but she didn’t seem agitated. She’d calm down. Her breathing would normalize. She’d started putting on more weight, becoming healthy. It was good to see.

Following everyone inside, he closed the door behind him. The old man waited until everyone was ready and began. So she was part of some organization. They had got their hands on some _special _kids, and some not so much. She was part of _something. _She interjected here. She shook, her hands clenched in front of her. “I calmed them down.” she said. “I would go in when someone was unstable. And take on everything they felt. And then I was put back in my room. To deal with it.” _Not very different then from what they’d all had to endure with daddy dearest anyway. Always training, and left alone to deal with the mess he’d make of them._

“Well, that was something then. I assume one or two of the children with powers managed to get out, start a fire or so. And spread it. Not everyone was accounted for during the rescue and recovery. I’m not sure, maybe they got away, or maybe they succumbed to their powers. We don’t know yet.” He said.

“So what do you want from me now? What is it that you expect me to do?” she asked. Her voice was so small, so tense. “Get stronger. And help us in any way you can.” Diego couldn’t believe his ears. He stared straight at Dad. In his voice, there was _almost _a softness. Almost a kindness. His father actually looked human for a second or two. This was _not_ missed by anyone. He looked over at Klaus and mouthed “What the hell?!”, and received a multitude of signs, most of which he didn’t understand.

“That’s all for this evening. You are all free to do what you want now. Luther, introduce her, I have a feeling none of you have really spent enough time _with _each other, actually talking. So do it. We are to be one family under this house, and I will NOT have it any other way.” Ah there he was, back again with the barking of orders.

He turned and marched out of the room, and when Diego looked back at her, she looked smaller somehow. Like she wanted to disappear. She opened her mouth, and then shut up, seeming to have changed her mind. He looked back at the others, but everyone else seemed to be waiting for anyone else to talk.

“Well, you have achieved the impossible.” Came Klaus’ voice. “You made his say please, and actually seem, not such a bastard.” “Klaus!” shouted Alison and Luther in unison. “Whaaaaatt?! It’s the truth! You saw him! When has he EVER spoken like that?” he said. He walked over to her and placed his arm over her shoulder. Just as he touched her, he gasped and she seemed shocked herself. Horror on her face, she scrambled away from him “Sorry. I didn’t mean to-it’s not something I can control yet. Sorry-“

“That felt A-MAAAAAYZING!” screamed Klaus. He only ever sounded like that when he was high. Really really high. “You are brilliant!” he said and grabbed her. She seemed to pull back, but Klaus being Klaus, pulled her into the foray of their siblings.

“Alright soooo introductions”, and off he went. Diego watched her. She seemed to zone out, and look at the clock often. Her face slowly drained of all color, and when she’d watch the clock, it came back.

Eventually, they made their way to him. Klaus dragged her to him and sat down on the couch in front of him. “And here we have Bachelor number 4. He’s dashing, he’s daring, and he loves his knives. My boy here has every chance of growing up into a hot, kinky-ow OW HEY!” Klaus shielded himself as Diego grabbed and threw cushions and books at him. He smirked from under the attack and looked back at _her. _“Hi”, he said, simply. She looked up at him, and he couldn’t help but notice how small she was. Almost breakable. And she stared at him. “You feel nice” she said in a small nice. Her face turned a lovely shade of crimson and her hands slapped over her mouth. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to say it out loud! Sorry!” He grinned at her and felt Klaus slap his leg, howling in laughter. “And we have a winner!” he shouted, rolling in laughter. He felt it coming and couldn’t help but join in, and watched her. Her eyes never wavered off him. “It’s just that—you feel different. Straightforward. Uncomplicated. It’s… nice.” She said, earnestly.

He nodded at her, “What do we call you? Or do you prefer we stick to Number 8?” She shook her head at this. “I don’t know. I’ve never had a name before.” She said it like it was nothing. “Did you all name yourselves?” she asked. “Nope.” said Five, who came over. “Mom did. But I prefer the number. I find a name unnecessary.” He said. She nodded at him. She looked down at her feet, and he saw her eyes turn pink. _Well well well. _

“You know our names, Mom gave them to us. You can pick your own---or not.” Vanya said, watching the girl shake her head almost violently. “Too many choices. Choices are hard.” she said. “Oh dad would love you for saying that.” Alison chirped in. “Tell us what it was like. Where you’re from.” She kept going. She flashed the girl a smile, like a toothpaste commercial.

She sighed and frowned. “Well. It was nothing like this. No distractions. There was a TV. Sometimes they put on the news, sometimes nothing. We didn’t get to talk to many people, or maybe that was just me. They fed me three times a day, and let me out of my room sometimes, depending on whether I was tired or not. Everyone just changed over time. The orderlies, the nurses, the doctors, everyone. The only times I spent more than an hour outside was when they’d take to me to help-“ she paused here. Her color slowly faded from her cheeks. “the others. Others who were stronger. More important.” She finished, her voice small.

“So how does it work? Your power. And how come Alison’s didn’t work?” Vanya asked. She was being awfully pushy. She was always the quiet one. “Like that time, we all met for the first time. I feel. I sort of absorb it all. And then I go through it all. I don’t exactly know how it works. And I don’t know why the rumor thing didn’t work either. I’m sorry about what I said, it just... it was overwhelming.” She said. He watched as her arms crossed in front of her small chest, and he watched as she shivered. Luther could sneeze and she looked like she’s just pass out. He stood up and walked over to her. “Well, maybe we can help. Dad did say-“ he raised his hands to air-quote “any way you can. He never ever says stuff like that. You should get back to bed. It’s past your bed time after all-“

“And how do _you _know that?” Alison said, cutting him off. He felt a surge of anger and wanted to throw something at her. Could she not _see _that the girl was tired? “Besides, we still need to give her a name, you know?” “And I still have questions” Luther said stepping up.

“Well, maybe just… a little longer.” she said, looking up at Diego. He looked down at her and wanted to simply whisk her away. But then again, she did have to get stronger, and what better way than to start immediately.

“Tell me what you want to know”, she said, moving closer to him. Diego didn’t know if she did it on purpose, or if it was just an accident. But he could smell her hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't know what to call OC. Any suggestions?


	4. Chapter 4

Months later~~~~

Your POV

You were ok. You were alright. You were tired. Tired from having to distract yourself. The clock on the wall helped immensely. It was _so loud! _The woman did say that she would get you a watch to help you. It was a coping mechanism. You wondered how many more there were if the clock thing didn’t work.

You’d worked out how you could be useful. You also had the nagging belief that the old man’s _change of heart, _as Klaus called it, had something to do with you. You always wondered if there was more to your power than you knew. Maybe you had influenced him somehow. But the only way to know for sure was to trial and error. And you didn’t want to do that to anyone in the household.

Every night, you would visit one room. Monday at Luther’s, Tuesday at Alison’s, Wednesday at Klaus’, Thursday at Five’s, Friday at Vanya’s. You never went to Diego’s, he simply didn’t seem to want you around. He certainly had anger issues. A terrible temper. But it was at a constant simmer. It was calming almost. Taking in everyone’s stress was one thing, but dealing with the after math was something else.

One night, you had walked in on Alison and Luther. You were early. And they were in bed together. The atmosphere was _thick _with lust. You had shut the door and slid down gasping for air. You were alone, and it was the first time you’d really _felt… sexy. _It was all Alison. It was the confidence she had in herself. It was amazing. And then there was Five, whose stress, ego and stress relief was just one big bundle of crap. It was always when you lost the most control. You would often find yourself lusting for Diego those nights, opening the window of your room, trying to catch a glimpse of him. Feeling the cold air on your hot skin. Touching yourself in places you’d never done before. You looked smaller and younger than the others, but you were the same age as every other _6 _in the house.

Dealing with Klaus was hard. One time, you had barely made it back into your room before blacking out, before nightmares of claustrophobia hit you. Being in a box never bothered you before. But when the old man insisted training you, and you were taken into the metal box under the mansion, you had your first attack. The shivering, the sweat, the panic. The breathlessness. The helplessness. These were other feelings you were new to.

It made you sick. So sick that you were now standing in front of Diego’s door. You were tired. All you wanted was to be around him, to calm down.

Taking a deep breath in, you knocked on the door three times. You _felt _him move inside, but there was no actual sound. There was nothing. When you knocked again, the door slowly creaked open. You pushed it further with your foot and waited for some form of acknowledgement. Nothing. Maybe he wasn’t in. You put one foot in front of the other, and soon you were inside. You _knew _he was in here. But you couldn’t see him. His bed was unmade, there were scratches and cuts on the wall, dumb bells in a corner and a mat on the floor with a towel next to it. The window was open.

Maybe he didn’t want you around. Maybe he couldn’t stand you. Maybe that’s why he didn’t need your help. You never felt disgust from him. Or fear. But you did feel something that felt like… like fire. Something burning.

You turned around and walked out. There was no point dwelling on it. You closed his door behind you and sighed. Your head was killing you, your throat was dry. You were just so tired. Sleep would not come to you easily tonight. Just as you turned, you slammed right into Vanya. “You’ve got to …you’ve got to help – Klaus, he isn’t ok! Something’s wrong! Please!” she grabbed your hand and you felt the onslaught of emotions pass into you. The _panic_. So much fear. You let her drag you into his room, and you felt it. You felt the atmosphere. It was dizzying. You stumbled and fell on to his bed. Vanya was still holding your hand and screaming into your room. As you looked around you saw Klaus, his knees pulled up to his chest, his hands in his curly hair, scratching at his scalp. You felt him grab your hand, and you tried to free yourself from Vanya’s grip, but she held on too tight. You felt everything he did. All the fear. So much fear. The walls were closing in. You heard him scream. You watched the building burn. You saw all the corpses. They turned to you, walking towards you. You tried to shake off the hands holding you but you couldn’t. You hadn’t come back here in a long time.

You felt yourself pulled back down. Down into your metal box. No air. Just fire. And then just darkness.

When you came to, you were on the floor. You were in a cold sweat. It was hot, no cold. No. it was nothing. You tried to sit up, but someone pushed you down. You felt your body being turned over, a hand on your back, rubbing it. It _felt _reassuring. You wondered if it was Vanya. _No. _She was too terrified. It could be Klaus. Maybe Luther? No. There was something strong about the way it was being. You shivered, something cold on your face. You couldn’t bring yourself to open your eye fully. You tried to prop yourself up with a hand, but slipped.

You were being carried now. The scent was strong. Sweaty. The chest was hard. Couldn’t be the old man, you weren’t that high off the ground. It _felt _protective. _Safe. _You felt something soft under you. Covers being pulled. No you didn’t want that. It felt like drowning. It felt like you were being back in the box, with the many experiments. With being a human conductor.

You screamed as you felt the electricity run through you. The pain was horrible. You couldn’t think everything was scrambled. You smelt your hair burn. Fire. You skin peeled. Your foot bled. You saw _him. _You saw _The Atom_. He laughed. He saw you. He came at you. The ceiling fell. You were trapped.

Diego POV

He ran into Klaus’ room as soon as he heard the screams. She was on the floor, writhing, Vanya trying to shake her grip, Klaus looking deathly pale. She let go, and she went quiet. So quiet. It was eerie. When he looked back, Klaus was shivering, his face gaining color. Vanya was the same. They looked better. “What the fuck just happened?” Klaus spoke up, “Dude, I… I was back there. The mausoleum. And I saw _them, felt them. _They were reaching for me. Except I wasn’t really there. It was a bad panic attack that’s all. And Vanya went to get help.” Klaus swallowed. “I brought Alice here. I was so scared. Diego, I think I was having a panic attack myself and then-“ she shivered “-it was just… gone.” She whispered the ending.

“So she, what, took on both your attacks at once?”, said Five’s voice from the Doorway. “Jesus, Five! You cannot sneak up on people like that!”, Vanya shouted, standing up. Diego looked back at Alice. She was on the floor. But she looked… catatonic. Her eyes were open, but moving, she was sweating, her mouth open slightly, and then she started to choke. He rushed over to her, and pushed his fingers into her mouth, looking for any obstruction. Turning her over, he tried to pat her back. The choking ended, only being replaced by shortness of breath. She was struggling. Her chest heaving. “A nightmare. She’s having a nightmare.” Klaus said. It looked right. It looked similar to what Diego had seen Klaus go through the years.

He picked her up and looked back at Klaus. “Who’d she have tonight?” he asked. Maybe it was just too much. Maybe this was her threshold. “Me. She had me tonight. Already.” Klaus replied in a small voice. Diego frowned. That explained why she came over into his room. She’d often do that. He remembered she once said that he calmed her down. “I’ll take her back to her room.” He said. He looked back at Klaus, who was holding Vanya. “You guys ok though?” “Yeah, yeah we’ll be fine. It was just, really intense for a couple of seconds.” Klaus replied. Vanya looked up from Klaus’ shoulder and said, “I had the strangest sensation. I felt really really, hot. Like sweltering. And I think I smelt, ash?” she said, shuddering. Klaus looked at her and back at Diego. “Yeah me too.”

Diego walked over to Ben’s, no her, room. She whimpered into his chest on the way, and curled up closer. All those feelings, locked inside her. He couldn’t imagine what it was like. To feel _so _much. She was so light. It was almost as though it would take one tight squeeze for her bones would break. Placing her in bed, he tried to pull the covers over her. Her breathing caught in her chest, and he watched as the sweat beaded on her forehead. She opened her mouth but no sound came out. Just heavy breathing. It was irregular. He didn’t like this. He didn’t know how to fix this. He placed his hand on hers, and held it tightly. Just like he did on the first few nights at the Academy. Hoping it made her feel at least a little better.

It seemed like it worked. She was starting to calm down when she gasped and sat up. He looked at her and she was groggy but looking desperately around the room “No- get away.” She mumbled, he kept holding her hand. “Hey. Wake up. HEY! It’s me. It’s Diego.” He said. He didn’t know what else to say, and it was frustrating. He moved closer and grabbed her shoulders, “Look at me! It’s me!” he shouted at her. She kept shaking her head, and then he saw it in her eyes. _Fear. _“No.” she whimpered, her voice soft, almost inaudible. “No. Just stop. I don’t want this, I don’t want you.” He watched as her eye got glassy, and a tear fell down. Another followed. He felt so helpless. All he wanted was to help. He swallowed the lump in his throat. And hugged her. As tight as he could. He felt her breathe sharply and tremble, and he held on tighter.

Eventually, her breathing got better and he felt her move. Letting her go, he held her by her arms, watching for anything. “It’s alright. I’m alright. Everything’s fine now.” She muttered. She raised her hand to her head and rubbed it. He couldn’t help but stare at the scars on it. At some places, it looked like her skin had just _melted _into places. Suddenly she brought it down, and pulled her sleeves lower. “Sorry.” He muttered looking back at her face. ”Are you sure you’re OK? What happened?” he asked. He didn’t move. He wanted to keep staring. “It was just too much. The old man was right. I need to get stronger.” She replied. She was still trembling.

He let his arms drop and sighed. “Sorry. I was in the middle of training and when I’m focused on one thing, well that’s all I can think of, you know? I didn’t want to stop when you’d come.” He spilled out. “That’s fine. I got what I came for, sort of.” She said. He watched as the color came back to her cheeks. Her eye was still on him. He swallowed again. “And what was that?”

“A bit of peace. A bit of silence. That’s all.” She said. She cocked her head to the side. She was adorable. He shook his head and laughed. “You’re weird.” He replied. “So you can calm other people down, and I can calm you down. Is that right?” he said. It was a risky bet to play. But he did want to spend more time with her. “I can make things easy for you.” He kept going. Licking his lips he looked at hers. They were small and perfect. They parted slightly, and he watched as her breathing quickened. “And?” she replied. “And what?”, he whispered back. One corner of her lips twitched and raised itself. “And what do you want?” she whispered. He looked up at her, her eye staring intently at him. “We all know the old man’s changed since you got here. You can make things easier for us when it comes to him. Maybe you can train with me. Really test out the limits of your powers. And who knows, maybe stealing emotions isn’t all that’s there to it.” He finished. She chewed her lip. He waited. He had a vested interest. He _wanted _to spend time with her. More than the others.

He hated it, when she came out of Five’s room. That was the only day she made a point to avoid him. He had the feeling it was because, along with all _his _stress, she also took in his stress _relief. _He loved watching her when she was like that. From a distance. He’d seen her, undress in front of the open window. Touch herself. And shiver. And he would sneak into her room on those nights, and just watch her like the creepy pervert he was himself.

Waiting for her to reply was painful. She seemed to be contemplating something. Finally she sighed and threw her head back, stretching, her arms over head and leaning back. It was a simple movement. But _god _it was magnificent to watch. He looked at her neck, and wondered what she would say if she knew what he was thinking. His eyes traveled down her frame, delicate, petite. _So breakable. _And he wanted to be the one to do it, so badly.

She looked back at him, and nodded. “Fine. It’s a deal.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Your POV~~~**

You enjoyed your time with Diego. It was _quiet. _Sometimes when you went into his room, he would be working out. Or silently looking over books about forensics. He _learnt. _His emotions rubbed off on you, and you could relax.

Being with Diego was also _thrilling. _Watching him do a push-up, sweat trickling down his back. Or when he frowns at something in his many books. It sent _ripples _through you.

One emotion you knew was yours was _shame. Guilt. _You were _using _him. He _thought _he was getting his end of the deal, but honestly, you weren’t sure what had changed in the old man. One day, you asked Diego to lend him one of his knives. He looked so doubtful, like you would do something unexpected. He was nosy, always asking you questions when he could. You didn’t mind. You told him it was to cut your hair. It kept getting in the way of everything. You remembered the way his mouth dropped and shook his head. He’d marched out and got Alison and Vanya.

And then you started spending more time with the girls. It wasn’t _unpleasant. _But you’d have rather spent all that time with Diego. Being with the girls made you start wanting to care about how you looked, how you dressed. And every time you got back to your room, you felt incredibly stupid.

Tonight was no different. They’d put make-up on you. It wasn’t disgusting, but looking at yourself in the mirror, you hated it. You grabbed a towel and brushed it against your skin, and faster. It hurt your skin. But you wanted it all off. You felt like a side-show attraction.

You spoke to Grace the next day, asking her to teach you things that were useful. You started to cook. And then experiment with it. You began to read. It was the most _wonderful _thing. You remembered the first book she’d given you. _Alice in Wonderland. _It was the stupidest thing. And that was why it was so brilliant.

It was also what pushed you to speak to the old man again. He’d left you alone most days now, wanting to send the others on more missions. This time they were all in the city centre. You knocked on his door. You _felt _him inside. But you didn’t want to tell him you’d discovered this new aspect of your ability. You could always tell who was where now.

Knocking again, you waited. You really wanted him to let you go outside. You were feeling a lot better, _without _Diego. Chewing your lip, you wondered if he was alright. Pushing the door open, you peered inside. The old man _was _here.

“Dad?”, you asked out loudly. You waited but there wasn’t a reply. Walking in, you looked around the study. It was enormous. But you didn’t feel small. The chair suddenly swiveled around and you yelped looking back. Staring straight at you, he had a box in his hand. “What do you want?” he asked angrily. You breathed in and out and watched as he put it away. “I wanted to ask you, since I’m doing a lot better now, if I could go out. To the library. I would like to read more.” You spoke, shuddering. His eyes were piercing into you.

“The academy has enough books here.” He replied, curt. Short. “Yes sir, but I don’t understand them.” You replied. It was true. There were books about biology, physics, sciences you’d never even heard about. “Grace tells me that you’ve taken to visiting Number two less often now.” He said, pushing his chair back and standing up. You had a feeling that Mom was often telling him _everything _and had stopped disclosing everything you felt about everyone to her a while ago.

“Yes sir” you said “I’m in far more control over everything now. I was wondering,” you swallowed, “if I could test my countenance,” you felt internal glory, just having learnt that word, “my strength, outside. I can hardly live in here for the rest of my life.” You ended. You waited and watched as he paced behind his chair. “I’ve also learnt to—to _not _feel. Like right now. I want to reach out to you and sense you out, but I can stop myself from doing that.” You said softly.

Dad turned and looked at you. There was something in the way he looked at you. “Fine. Pick a day this week, and go with Five and Two. In case something happens, Two can calm you down. And if it goes south,-“ he stopped and stared at you, “then Five will bring you back, and that will be the end of that. Agreed?”

You gulped and nodded. It was ok. “Yes” was all you could say, before walking out of the office. You shut the doors behind you, took a deep breath in and out. You felt something warm spread all over you and you felt your lips turn upwards. You ran as fast as you could into your room, and threw yourself on to the bed. Giggling you turned over and over again. You heard the door open and close down stairs.

Pushing yourself up, you waited. You were never allowed to go to the de-briefing after a mission. It was unnecessary. You opened your window and waited to see him. You were so giddy with happiness. You heard sounds, voices, and then footsteps. Your door slammed open and you whipped around. Diego stood at the doorway, leaning into the door frame. He was covered in dirt, cuts on his arms where his shirt was torn. Your eye travelled up to his face, and his lips, which curved upwards. You don’t know what came over you. You found yourself in his arms. You’d missed him _immensely. It was warm. And safe. _You pulled him into your room and slammed the door shut.

“Woah woah!” he cried out, surprise evident on his face. “Sorry”, you said and stepped back from him. You could hardly stop moving. You just wanted to tell him that you were going to try something new, like he always told you. “I know I know.” He said, grinning. He looked at the open window and you felt your face burn up. When he looked back at you, his grin had turned into a full smile. A smile that made you melt. “So, staring at the stars or waiting for someone?” he asked, walking over and sitting on your bed. He started to take off his gloves and you walked over, sitting down in front of him on the floor. You took his hand into yours and helped him take it off.

“Waiting for you,” you said. There was no reason to just tell him. “I have so much to tell you. But first tell me about you. How was the mission? How are you doing? I haven’t spoken to you in forever and I just want to hear your voice or you say something –“. You stopped hearing a chuckle. You looked up and saw him breathe in sharply. His face had a mix of expressions. Surprise, shock? You didn’t want to feel him out yet, wanting to put into practice what you’d learnt about body language.

“I missed you too.” he said and pulled you into a hug. His arms lifted you up and you smelled his chest. You loved _this. _This feeling of familiarity.

What was even better, your time alone had given you… _perspective. _You knew which emotions were your own. And which weren’t. And that was another thing you couldn’t wait to tell him.

Laying down next to him, you waited. He told you about the mission. How they’d been some sort of pyro-maniac, how they’d let him get away, how they’d rescued everyone. It was an ok ending. Not the one father wanted of course.

You told him about your days, your weeks of practice. Your discoveries. _You loved sharing with him. _

“Have you told Alison or Vanya yet?” he asked, staring at the ceiling. “No” you replied “Why would I? I didn’t want dad to know more than he needed to.” He looked back at you, the stupid grin back. _It warmed you up from the inside. _Looking over at his ripped uniform, you touched one of the frayed ends of his blazer, and pulled at it, a string unravelling. It was interesting to watch how this entire ensemble was held together with nothing but dainty strings. _Strong together, breakable apart. _

The knock on the door startled you and Diego sat straight up. You followed suit, noting how pink his ears were. _Maybe he was tired?_

“Diego, are you in there?” came Mom’s voice. You watched as he scratched the back of his head.

“Yes, mom” he replied, sheepishly. “Ok I’m coming in”, she announced. “Why doesn’t she just walk in like always?” you ask aloud. You weren’t doing anything strange. It didn’t make sense to you. Diego looked back at you, his eyes different.

**Diego’s POV**

There were moments that were perfect. And then there were moments that brought him back to reality. Like right now. Like how she had no idea what they _could _be doing, what _he _could be doing to her. What it look like if anyone walked in. He felt the shame, because he _knew _what he’d rather be doing. He wanted to _devour her. _

But when looked, _really looked,_ he could see that she was just… _her. _He always wondered if what she felt, was her own feelings. Or other people’s. If she really REALLY knew. She said she did. But looking at her, the ease at which she was influenced, it was hard to tell.

He’d seen her mood change depending on who she’d hung out with. But when she went back into her room, she’d change. Often, she wouldn’t come out until late in the evening.

He would know for sure when they tested out dad’s experiment of taking her outside. A library _sounded _like a safe place, but you knew far too well how boys, like yourself, would visit the library for a quick peek at a computer, at a website ridden with all kinds of debauchery. Once Klaus had shown him, he couldn’t stop. He wanted to see all there was to see.

If she only knew how she made him feel. He hadn’t learnt the meaning of the word patience and self-control until _her. _He wanted to show her, tell her, teach her, but he had to _wait, _Klaus had said. He had to take things slow, to not break her, to not over-whelm her. So far, she seemed to be getting a good hand on controlling _not _feeling others. If she _knew _how he’d felt, eh was sure she’d run.

He let mom bandage him up, and watched Alice stare at his chest, while mom stitched his back up. She stared, but her face betrayed nothing. It was blank. He couldn’t see her eye, they were looking somewhere else. Her hands twitched and he saw she was holding them rather tightly, biting her lower lip, her eyebrows furrowing. When she finally looked back into his own, he saw her eye, filled with worry, and sadness. They were sitting close enough, so he placed his hand over hers, covering both of them with one of his own. “Do they hurt?” she whispered. She was thinking about all the scars then. “Not any more. They’re old, they heal” he replied back. He could feel mom bandaging him up, and winced slightly when she applied pressure. He looked back at her, and she was looking at his hand. He loosened his grip and before he could pull back she grabbed onto his hand with two of her own.

“All done!” mom said standing up, and packing away his clothes. He was still wearing his shorts, which he hated, more than anything. But he _had _to wear them. “Diego, dear, you really should get some rest. Tomorrow is a _big _day for the both of you.” She said, smiling. He felt her grip soften, and he tightened his own. “Just a few more minutes, mom. I’ll go to bed.”

Just a few more minutes with _her _again. Alone. In the quiet. It was all he needed.

The next day came and ended. It had been a _DISASTER. _They’d got to the library fine, she had stayed between Five and him the entire time, looking at books. Five had forced him to stay back and let her explore by herself. She was fine for the most. She met some people and was alright. She was able to _not _feel them out. She was not over-whelmed.

Until _one _person bumped into her. He hadn’t gotten a good look at the face under the hoody. She just stared, and picked up the books the person had dropped. Something flashed on her face and she was frozen in place. He wanted to get to her but Five held him back, telling him they had to wait. The person hadn’t moved either. Eventually she got up, dropping the books, and walked away. She didn’t stop. She kept walking, and then bumped into someone else, and soon she was heading to the door.

Five couldn’t teleport inside because it would bring too much attention to them, so they walked… _walked! _They walked and eventually he broke free from Five’s grip, running to her. She was already out the door.

Outside they lost her. Having no clue which way to head, Five teleported them to the roof. Looking around they finally spotted her walking into oncoming traffic. Five managed to get her just before a truck took her down. They got back as soon as they could.

She hadn’t said a word. She looked lost, _gone._ After Five gave dad his report on the whole situation, dad just nodded. “It was to be expected. She can never leave this house.” And with that, the chapter was closed. She was to be caged in this hell-hole.

Mom had taken over from him. She pushed him out of the door, insisting he get some sleep. He knew he couldn’t. It was the look on her face. He remembered the face she had made when she’d bumped into the guy. _Like she’d seen a ghost_. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Diego POV**

14 years later, and here he was. He was sitting in someone’s room. In the dark. Looking around it was a dirty room. If it was cleaned up, it would do pretty well. But it looked every bit the room of a quick-scheme squatter. Who he was here to pick up.

He’d picked up the news from a police bar he hung out at with his ex-colleagues. It was part of his routine, ever since he dropped out of the academy. There was just too much politics, too much drama, too many people to try to please, rather get the bad guys. For so many years, that was what he was trained to be. _What he trained himself to be._ His hot temper had got the best of him far too many times, and finally he’d just left. _What a shame, _chimed dad’s voice in his head, resounding.

He took a deep breath in and out. He had left _that place that_ made him so vulnerable, so weak. He knew he’d made a huge mistake as soon as he’d done it. But there was no going back. Mostly because he was a coward.

He’d been waiting for whoever lived here for well over an hour. Someone had tried to blackmail the Chief of the police department from this room. From this computer, from the landline. Whoever it was, did a terrible job of hiding. They’d done an ok-job hiding from the police, but he wasn’t the police. He was _special._ _Because he had skills no one else did._

_You’re so special!, _said a voice. A different voice. A voice that sounded like awe. He missed her. Immensely. But there was no going back.

He stiffened as he heard footsteps. Three, no, two people were coming up the stairs. He waited as the keys jingled at the door. As the key was inserted and as the lock turned. There was a pause. Did they know he was inside? He had been extremely careful. No, it had to be something else. He never made mistakes. He didn’t move. The doorknob turned, and the door opened halfway. He watched as a leg came into view, it was torn stockings, and then the rest of the body followed. A girl, no, woman. Tight short green skirt. T-shirt and a jersey. Hair tied up. She was thin. Not thin like the kind that malnutrition caused. Thin like drug-user. She walked straight to the music player, not bothering to close the door behind her, and called out. “I’ll be a minute. Wait for me downstairs.” And opened a drawer.

He waited until the footsteps receded and got up. “Scream, and it’ll be the last thing you do.” He said calmly. The girl swung around and looked around, until her eyes settled on him. They were shifty. Too shifty. He whipped around and dodged just as a pan swung past his head. He moved fast. _Very very fast. _But the person in front of him was faster. _All black._ Every punch he tried to land was blocked and he grunted. He didn’t know what happened, but everything seemed to be moving either too fast or too slow. It was definitely a girl. He had enough and grabbed a knife. He circled and so did the person. It was hard to make out who it was.

Right before he threw the knife, he heard one word. “Sleep”. And with that he fell.

When Diego came to, he was tied to the chair he was sitting on. Two women were standing in front of him, the one in black with her back to him and the other one facing him. “What did you do?” the black dressed one asked. “I just wanted to make some cash, y’know. I wanted to pay-“ “Oh spare me the details! You wanted money alright, but for what?!” spat back the woman in black. The one in front looked around, eyes darting around like a scared rat, just looking for a way out. “Just a bit of…weed. Just a bit I swear, and it wasn’t for m-“ “Kill me now.”, muttered the one in front of her. “You know if _he _found us-“ she gestured at him, “-they won’t be far behind”

He looked around and saw that his knives were all in his holster except for one, and it was on the table. He cleared his throat. If he was going to be talked about, he wasn’t going to be insulted while he was awake. “I wasn’t followed and I certainly don’t leave loose ends.”

“Of course you don’t.” she responded. There was something about her voice. He just couldn’t place it.

“Did you ever consider _why _anyone would tell you about something so sensitive? Information as sensitive as the Chief being blackmailed?”

“I don’t need to justify it to you or anyone.” He shot back. He tried to move against his restraints and found that he was tied down by cable ties. He HATED cable ties. He grunted, flexing his muscles, trying to get them to break. They didn’t, which just made him madder.

“For someone who’s supposed to see far ahead of others, you’re really blinded.” She muttered. She looked back at her. “S—so, so what if he found us? He’s no one! We could just leave him here and go away!” the girl at the other end was nervously licking her lips, fidgeting. He recognized the way she moved. She needed her poison. “Are you even pregnant?” the woman in black asked her. “Wh-what?! Why would you doubt me? Of cours-!” “Because I was stupid too. If you cared, if you really cared, you wouldn’t want any money. You would just want out. But no, you had to jump back in. You had to go back for money. So,” she took a deep breathe in, “tell me the truth, because I WILL know if you’re lying. Was anything you told me true?”

He looked around as much as he could. He noticed the window was closed, and she was standing exactly opposite to it. He couldn’t see much of her. She wore something between a coat and a robe, no shape. She wasn’t exactly tall, or skinny. Just smallish. She was strong. She was able to deflect him and somehow she had knocked him out. He smirked, and looked around again, looking for anything to help him get out of his restraints, or get any information he could use.

“Yes. The chief, he did drug me. He did rape me. I’m not lying!” the girl practically screamed the last part and fell to the floor, sobbing. He’d seen this before. She wasn’t lying. He felt the disgust rise in him. He heard that she had drugged the Chief, and taken photos. And that she was blackmailing him with them. He may have just been played. _Because he had skills no one else did._

The woman in front of him slowly turned around and looked at him. “She’s telling the truth. Does that matter to you?” she asked him. He gulped down and nodded. He _hated _being wrong. But he’d been had. She seemed to be lost in thought, staring at him. He realized her hair covered half her face. _Her face. _So so familiar. He was distracted suddenly by a red dot that materialized on her chest and moved up her head. She must have seen something too.

“Shit! GET DOWN!” she shouted and she was on top of him. Looking up she grabbed his holsters off the table and threw it at him, and crawled back to the sobbing mess of the girl. “Get up! Move!” she barked out the orders. He managed to get a knife out and cut his ties, he crawled over to them.

The wall behind her had a hole that was now smoking. “You were followed!” she said. He looked back to see where the laser was coming through and saw a flash of red. Diego looked around. There was only one window. “If I could find you, it was only a matter of time till someone else did.” “Are you kidding?” she asked him. “Right now isn’t the time to get defensive.” She snarled at him. He looked around, a way to get out. “Ah fuck it. Out of my way.” She said and she crawled to the door. “Don’t-“ she said looking back, her face filled with fury, “let her out of your sight. If you hurt her, I will find you, and _burn_ you!” Diego looked at her, seething. _The arrogance._ He crawled over to the window and when he looked back at the door she was gone. 

He wasn’t usually one for waiting. He hated being told what to do. But he didn’t know what he’d just walked into. He tried to look out and whipped back as a shot missed him. He twirled a knife in his hand and threw it out the window. He smiled as he heard it hit its mark. He looked back out, and there was no one else around. “Damn it”, she’d got away. Diego pushed himself off the floor and lunged. He ran down the stairs and out the building. Looking around you spotted a pair of legs disappearing down an alleyway. He sprinted and he saw her. Smirking, he played with one of knives, and chased her down. She was unfit. It was easy catching up to her. Just before he did, he heard a gunshot. And something crashed into him, throwing him against the garbage bin next to him. He thudded on the floor and rolled over, pushing himself up. He grunted, and looked at where the gun shot came from and saw a man in a hoody, holding the woman in the T-shirt.

“Did you _really _think you could get away with it?! Just how dumb are you?!” he screamed, raising his gun, and smacking the woman hard. She cried out and blood poured out.

Diego raised a knife and pointed at the man. “Put down the gun and let her go, Chief” he said calmly.

The man looked around and sneered at Diego. He pulled down his hoody. “Well no point in hiding from you hey? And what the hell are you good for anyway? You were supposed to take her down, Jesus Diego! Put down the knife already. We all know you’re on our side.” He pushed the woman away. “I’m just giving her a little taste, that’s all. It was just a warning. I’m not going to kill her, obviously!” he licked his lips and looked away. Diego _knew _he was lying. Diego knew his tells. “C’mon chief. Walk away right now.” He said. “Why?! Why should I-“ he shouted, “-when this bitch just couldn’t do what she was good for?! I mean really! She couldn’t just have brushed it off. There had to be proof, there had to be blackmail. She needs to be made an example.“ the Chief stepped forward to the woman on the floor, who whimpered, backing away from him. She was covered in filth.

Diego heard a mumble from behind him, and the Chief’s eye went wide. His face turned pale, and he dropped the gun. His breathing started to become irregular, and tears started to roll down his face. He heard the voice again, “_Repent_”, and the Chief screamed, falling onto the floor. He looked around to see a body leaning against the garbage bin he had slammed into. She stumbled forward, he tried to grab her before she fell but she flinched. _Flinched. _Refusing his help, she looked at the sobbing mess of a man in front of her. “I’m sorry! I’m- I .. I I ‘m so sorry!” he wailed, crawling towards the woman on the floor.

“Get up, Candy”, she said. “Candy, you’re ok. C’mon.” she muttered, and the woman got up, walking towards them, with a blank expression.

Diego sharply inhaled and looked at the small figure behind him. It couldn’t be. He’d pushed her away. She’d gone away. She’d disappeared. He’d tried tracking her down, he had looked everywhere but she’d just up and left one day. Mom and Pogo knew she was fine, and he had tried questioning everyone. They all knew she was fine, Klaus even knew where she was, but he refused to tell him. Diego shook, and wanted to run to her. Wanted to beg her for forgiveness. Wanted to say he was sorry and that he missed her.

But he’d hurt her. He’d pushed her away so hard, it was impossible to get her back. _Well maybe not impossible, _said the little voice in his head. _You just wanted to protect her. Just keep her safe. She was too breakable. _

_But she isn’t breakable now, is she? _

Diego didn’t make a move, just watching the woman. Her profile looked about right but he still hadn’t got a look at her face. Her voice. It _was _her voice.

“_A-A-Al-Alice?” _he whispered, stuttering his way through it. She was leaning into the other woman, and she looked at him. Diego could feel every bead of sweat running down his back, and his face. He saw she was sweating too. “Took you long enough” she replied and walked away.


	7. Chapter 7

Your POV ~~

You couldn’t help but smirk as you walked away from him. You knew exactly who he was as soon as you’d seen him. But you weren’t going to acknowledge him. Not after what happened between the two of you. You winced as the pain coursed through you. Blood dripped down your side as you walked out into the main road with Ginny by your side. She’d made an enormous mistake. But you knew how desperate she was to change. You’d _felt_ it. Klaus was the same. He was always sincere, but fell back into old habits easily. It was his escape. And this was hers.

You had wanted to not use your powers for as long as you could. But sometimes, just like then, it was just _better. _Like with the Chief, he didn’t regret anything. And Ginny wasn’t the first hooker he’d hurt. So she’d hurt him back. She made him feel what he had to. For the rest of his life, he would hate himself enough to ruin himself, to never hurt another being.

You wanted to stop, but didn’t. You would NOT let _him _see how weak you were feeling. Not after what he did. Not matter the big stink he made of you.

You finally reached one of your apartments. You had enough money to own a few dumps like this. The neighborhood was full of hooligans, thugs, drug addicts. No one would ever look for you here. Grunting, you grabbed your keys, and opened the door. You knew Diego was still behind you.

You forced yourself to breathe. He always affected you. He always made you _feel _different. At first it was all innocent. And then he took everything from you, leaving you wrecked, destroyed. Leaving you with nothing but self disgust.

You weren’t mad at him for _what _he did. But _how_ he did it.

You made sure to never see him again. He tried looking. And you covered your tracks well enough. You laughed, and immediately winced, remembering the look on his face when he finally had recognized you. What you didn’t expect was what his voice saying your name made you feel. Something had stirred inside, and you had pushed it away just as it started.

Pushing the door, you walked right in with Ginny. “Sit”, you ordered her, and she complied. It was just _easier _this way. You walked into one corner of the room and got out the first aid kit you had there. You took off the ridiculously long coat you had. It was one of Klaus’, after he’d taken yours by mistake.

Letting it fall, you sat down on the floor, and peeled your t-shirt off you. You heard a gasp and looked up to see Diego standing in front of you. You smiled on the inside. _Good. _You wanted him to see how different you were.

You had worked out. You had worked _hard. _You weren’t that skinny and petite girl from back then. You were stronger now, harder now. You’d grown well into your body. You were still shorter than him, but you were _better. _ You were still wearing a tank top on the inside. You winced and bit down your lip as you touched your sides, and touched the open wound. The bullet had hit you. Diego was suddenly by your side and pushed your hands away. You growled, because everywhere he touched **_burned._** You hated it. You hate burning for _him. _“Get away from me,” you shrieked at him and moved away as fast as you could.

You looked back at Diego. You didn’t mean to be unkind, but you did _not _want _him _touching you. The shock on his face was quickly replaced with something else, a darker look. It changed in a flash. He got up and walked over to Ginny. You picked up the first aid box and worked on the open wound on your body, wincing and gasping as the pain hit you. This wasn’t the first you’d been hurt. You knew what to do. You punched the floor several times and stuffed your t-shirt in your mouth as you extracted the bullet from your side.

You didn’t have _time _for Diego. You had done such a good job hiding from him, and you didn’t want him back.

_No. That’s a lie. You miss him. You WANT him. _The voice inside you shot back at you. You hated it. You hated everything.

Choking on your t-shirt, you spat it out. You felt a hand on your back as you sewed yourself back. You _knew _it was him. You looked up at him, into his dark eyes. You wanted to ask him so many things, tell him so many things. You yearned every day and night for him, for his company, for his warmth. But he hurt you. In a way that you just couldn’t deal with.

You bandaged yourself up and got up, wanting to put as much distance was you could between him and you. You shut your eyes and took deep breaths, pushing back all those emotions from your past back into the little box inside you that you kept looked away. You bent down and reached down to pull apart one of the boards from the floor. You always hid stuff away. Grabbing the bag there, you walked over to Ginny. She was still sitting, with a little smile on her face. You couldn’t help but feel bad for her. Brushing the hair off her face you placed the bag in her hands. “You’re going to leave. You’re going to be fine. You’ll start a new life. You’ll go here, and call this guy. He’ll set you up. And you’ll live your best life. You’ll believe in your self. Clean yourself up, change your clothes, and leave. And-“ you choked back as all the emotions washed over you. You shut your eyes trying to channel all the right ones into her, “-you won’t remember me, or what happened here. None of it.” She nodded at you and smiled. She started to strip, and you just grabbed the jersey she dropped on the floor, wrapping it around you.

You stood up and looked at Diego squarely in the face. He had grown. You knew he hadn’t stopped staring at you the entire time. Did he wonder about you? You knew he had looked for you. You had been careful to disappear.

You nodded at him and walked past him, and out the door. There was nothing to say to him.

You felt the clouds closing in and stopped, looking up. It had been so long since you had called them, and it was on the worst days that they’d come to you in thunderstorms and heavy rains that would bring the entire city to a standstill.

You needed a pill. It was the only thing that calmed you down. You pulled Mom’s little bottle from your pocket and popped two in, gulping it down. You looked back up at the sky. You didn’t want to lose it here, not in front of Diego.

You kept walking. You weren’t sure for how long, but you just kept going, eventually reaching your place. You had a decent enough apartment. You turned around and looked at Diego, who’d followed you silently all the way. You waited. His eyes were downcast, and his face had an expression you couldn’t place. He never apologized, so you knew he wasn’t sorry. So why did he follow you?

_Because you’re weak. Because he still thinks you’re nothing. _

You bit your lower lip and looked at your feet in disgust. You hated feeling this way. You had worked long and hard. 14 years. You were _not _weak.

Taking a deep breath, you broke the silence. “You didn’t have to walk me back. We weren’t followed and neither was she.” You said. You waited and watched him. _Nothing._

“Go back to your place, Diego. It’s going to rain tonight.” You said, and turned around, unlocking your door. “Please” you heard him mutter softly. It was a soft voice. A quiet voice. A _pleading _voice.

“What do you want?” you asked. You didn’t turn around. You were scared. Your heart started to beat harder and louder. The box inside you shook violently, threatening to let loose all the emotions you had kept away. All the sadness and hurt. You found it harder to breathe, and forced yourself to draw sharp and deep breaths.

“P..p.. please lets just t…t .. talk?” your heart went out to him. You felt everything inside you fall, all the anger, the pain, everything, at his small voice. You were still weak when it came to him.

“Get inside”, you managed to spit out and walked ahead, not turning to look back at him. You knew you were dangerously close to letting it all go.

Your place was small, but cozy. It was everything you needed for your job. There was a table and a chair in a corner, which had your laptop on it. You had a huge mattress on the floor with a good pillow and blanket, for the restless nights or days. There was a suitcase somewhere with your clothes in it, and another box by the bed with just stuff that you needed. There was as stove for food, tea or coffee. And there was a mini fridge with fruits or vegetables, or whatever Klaus left in it.

You took off the jersey, and walked over to the bathroom, turning on the shower. The water always took long to heat up, and tonight you needed it. It had been a long day.

You walked back out, and looked at Diego. He looked… _defeated._ It wasn’t what you wanted. You fought everything inside you to use your power on him. You did _not _want to know what or how he felt.

“The shower’s heating up. What do you want to drink?” you asked. You needed to break the silence. Slowly, you heard the patter of raindrops. You sighed and turned on the lights. You watched as he blinked, his eyes scrunching as they got used to the bright light inside. You walked back to the door and locked it, with the many locks it had on it. The top and bottom latches, the middle chain and two lead locks.

You turned around to face him staring at you, an eyebrow raised. You shrugged at him and walked past him into the bathroom. “Help yourself to what you want.” And you shut the door behind you.

You found yourself leaning against the door, one hand over your heart, which was beating like a drum on drugs. It took everything out of you to be nonchalant. _Fucking hell! _Looking down at yourself, you realized you were filthy. This was _not _how you had wanted to meet him. In fact you weren’t sure _how _you wanted to meet him. You waited and walked over to the window, opening it. You stretched out an arm and waited, you needed the lightening. It always healed you. You didn’t understand it, but it worked for you, so you stopped questioning years ago.

You smiled as you watched the lightening zig0zag and reach out to you. As soon as it reached you, you felt it envelop you, your pain drifting far away.

When you backed away, you looked back at your wound. Ripping the bandages off, you winced at the tenderness of the skin. There was a scar, but the wound had closed up perfectly well.

You took off the rest of your clothes and stepped into the shower, and let the hot water crash into you. You didn’t want Diego inside your apartment forever. You wondered what he was doing. What he was thinking. Did he notice anything different about you? His eyes were the same. His voice was the same. He still made her pool. And heavens above was he hot! You wanted to imagine what he was lie under the layers of black clothing he wore. What his skin felt like. What new scars he had. What new stories his body had to tell. How it would feel to brush against his lips, to touch his hair, to move your fingers down his back. You felt the warmth spread inside you as you shut your eyes, imagining how big he would be under your fingertips. Snapping your eyes open, you shook your head, turning the water tap to the other side, and gritted your teeth as the ice cold water pierced into you.

_It wouldn’t do at all._

Stepping out, you dried yourself and grabbed clothes that were still in the clean laundry pile. It wasn’t much, but it was enough.

You looked at the mirror. You had hated mirrors for the longest time. Until you learnt to love yourself slowly. You opened the door to the bathroom to smell something good. You looked over to see Diego’s holster on the floor along with his boots. He was by the stove. He must have found the instant noodles.

You walked over to your table. A few emails in, you sighed and stretched. It was going to be a long couple of days but you needed a slower pace after what had just happened. You sent a few out, quickly to people who could expect Ginny to go around. You weren’t worried, you knew she was going to be alright.

You stretched and heard cracks through your neck and shoulder. Shuddering from the after math you turned your chair around, and stared at Diego. Diego at your stove. Diego cooking for you.

_Who would’ve thought?! _

You did. At one point you did think this was possible. A future with him. When you were younger and stupid. You remembered the first time you went out, wanting to good in the world in every little way you could. And how much it hurt to take on other people’s pains. Sure, you had practice with constantly being at Klaus and Vanya’s sides. But it still never prepared you for the outside. You shut your eyes and shoved everything into that little box.

You watched as Diego’s strong rough hands turned the stove off. You watched as his head looked around for bowls or spoons, anything. You watched as he found one, and poured the contents of the pot in front of him into it. “I’ll take half, thanks. I usually eat straight from the pot.” You said. He flinched a bit, his shoulders raised slightly. You chuckled. _Always on alert._ You knew he was shaken up after the night. Not the violence, god knows he’s had his share of that. But of _you. _You couldn’t help but enjoy the effect you were having on him, and the faces he made. Walking over to him, you grabbed a clean spoon from next to him. You opened a cabinet above the stove and grabbed the tobacco sauce you kept there. You looked over at his bowl and then at the pot, and emptied the contents of the bottle into your share of food. You heard him sharply breathe. “I like it spicy and hot”, you said, knowing how it sounded. You were very aware of how close you were to him, and you thought you could feel his breath on your head. You were aware that your hair was still dropping wet, down the back of your shirt, stuck to your bare back. You reached over and grabbed the pot from his side and walked back to the mattress, sitting down on it.

You waited for him. He unclenched his fists. What did he want to hit you again? _Hah! He should try!_

You looked down into the pot of noodles he’d made. You wished you hadn’t put the sauce in. You wanted to taste it the way _he_ made it. It would never happen again. Sentiments, you told yourself, never got you anywhere. And with that you dug in. You felt eh mattress dip next to you and glanced to your side to see him next to you, with decent distance between the two of you.

You opened your mouth, and found that you couldn’t speak. You wanted to. You wanted to say so many things. Where were you supposed to start? But didn’t he want to talk? So what did he want to say? Should you wait or just ask him? Should you give him time? Did he need time? He had stuttered. You hated that. You hated that you had made him do that.

You sighed and shoved your hands in your pockets, looking for the little pill box. You hated depending on it, but sometimes you had to do what you had to do.

You felt it in your pocket, it was good to just know that you had it. You could depend on it. You gripped it tight, forcing yourself to breathe. The box inside was struggling against its restraints. It was going to be an ok night. Not a bad night. But not a good one either. You needed to get to your laptop, you needed to work to distract yourself. That always worked. But you didn’t want to do it in front of Diego. You didn’t want to show him everything yet.

You bit your lower lip, chewing on it as your thoughts raised through your head. The silence was broken by his voice. “What are you thinking about?”

After all these years, that’s what he wanted to ask her. It was _so him._

“Just organizing things in my head. Nothing else.” You replied. At least you were talking.

“How long have you been in town?”

“About 4 months now.”

“And before?”

You looked over at him. He wasn’t looking at you. The bowl in his hands looked like it would break. He was holding back. His shoulders looked like they trembled a bit. You knew it wasn’t you. Maybe he was controlling his temper, trying to be patient with you.

“Doesn’t matter” you replied. There was a dead silence. You didn’t need to ask to know what he had been upto. You knew. You always knew.

“You’re looking better than the last time I saw you. You were covered in bandages and you’d broken two of your fingers. I don’t remember who you’d had a match with though.” You kept going.

His head sharply turned to face you, a mix of confusion and surprise on it. “I kept tabs on you. Just to make sure you were alright.” You ended.

“I tried to find you” he finally said, like it was meant to be some kind of atonement.

“I didn’t want to be found” you said. It was the truth. You knew it would hurt him, but it was the truth.

You were a coward too. You didn’t want to get into everything with him. “You know what would be great? If we could just… just… “ you trailed off. What did you REALLY want from him?

_Everything. His heart, his mind, his body - his everything. _

“Just go back to how things were?” he ended for you.

You stared into his brown brown eyes, it was like swimming in an ocean in the night. So dark. So inviting, yet so unknown, so uncertain. You nodded, trying to gulp down whatever emotion was threatening to climb out of your throat. You wondered if he felt what you did. If felt the burning like you did. If he wanted to touch your lips. You pursed yours, and no matter how much you wanted, you were not going to look at his lips. Narrowing your eyes, you focused on the scar that run down the side of his face.

It had memories. So many memories. You remembered the night he came home from it. The anger, the rage, the wrath. You had tried to calm him down. It wasn’t what he had done that night. It was what happened after.

_Don’t think about it. Push it away. NOT NOW._

The voice in your head forced you to rip your eyes away from his face and instead at the door. Almost as expected, there was a bang on it. In a flash, you lifted the mattress to reveal a small hole in the floor and brought out the gun that was there. It was a small revolver. You grabbed the second one as the next bang on the door rattled through the apartment.

You were by the door and looked back to see Diego on the other side. You cleared your throat, “Who is it?”

“Special delivery for a very very special lay-dy!!!” came the voice, followed by a shriek of what sounded like delirious laughter. You dropped both your arms down to your sides and sighed, banging your head on the wall behind you twice. Frowning, you put the revolvers on the floor and turned to open all the latches and locks on your door to the smiling face of your brother Klaus.

“Hello darling! I’ve got you a killer dress, and we are going to paint the town red! Have I got news for youhoohooo!!!!! Hello D! I see you two finally caught up to each other!” he looked at Diego and back at you, his smile growing bigger and bigger. His eyes then landed on the revolvers on the floor. “Oh! Bad night?” he asked looking back at you.

“Not as bad as it could’ve got.” You muttered picking up the revolvers as Klaus stepped in, shutting the door behind him. “Lock it.” You called out as you went back to the mattress, placing the revolvers back where you got them from.

“You got shot. She got shot” said Diego. “How are you not in pain?” he asked looking you. “How come you don’t need to change your bandages after a shower, how are you able to kick ass, when did you leave town, where did you go, why didn’t you say anything?!” it was like he couldn’t stop. He raised his hands and back down. “Why didn’t YOU say anything? I asked and asked and she was here and you just… you just never said!” he looked like he was on the verge of a breakdown. You stood your ground, watching him. You wanted nothing more than to reach out to him, to comfort him.

_NO. Remember? No excuses._


	8. Chapter 8

You walked over to your laptop, reading through the new emails that had popped up, while Klaus and Diego bickered. You didn’t want to look at a vulnerable Diego. You didn’t want to see him when he looked like he cared. Maybe he did maybe he didn’t.

You turned around, their voices getting louder. Diego looked furious, but Klaus looked madder. He almost _glowed. _“That’s enough boys.” You said loudly, getting their attention. “Klaus, I’d love to go out with you tonight, but if you _try _to get me laid again, I will destroy your reputation. And you-“, you faced Diego, “Don’t you have some vigilante thing to do? Isn’t that your life now? Or are you going to actually take a break and join us?”

You waited, watching as Diego stared at you. He knew now. He knew that you knew everything about him, and you felt a bit of satisfaction knowing that it frustrated him that he didn’t know a thing about you. That he had tried to look for you _and failed. _You walked over to Klaus and grabbed the bags he brought in. “The shower’s warm, if you’ll be needing it”, you told him, as you put the groceries into your mini-fridge. He bought a few necessities, it helped you to not go out into the market. It was too crowded and after a night like this, the kind of crowd you wanted to get lost in was not of fruit vendors shouting at each other at the top of their voices.

“I’ll be needing it alright, but in the morning. Now be a good little girl” he sauntered over to you, and you felt hands on your shoulders, working their magic. His hands moved onto your back, and rubbed circles on it. Klaus was always good with his fingers, he was always able to get most of the knots out of your back. As for the others, well you had special toys, but they never did much. “And go put on the sweet dress I got you. It’s just so _you. _I can’t wait to see you in it!” you sighed, and looked up at him, towering above you. You smiled softly at him.

You grabbed the bag, and looked back once before shutting the door to the bathroom. Diego was not there.

**Diego’s POV~~~**

He was mad. So mad. And hurt. It hurt so bloody much. He was supposed to be the macho one. But looking at her, he couldn’t help it. He had done this to her. She’d changed so much. _Too much. _

She had looked like herself, maybe for one second, one brief moment before Klaus had interrupted them. And then the two of them. The way they looked at each other, the way Klaus casually touched her, bought her food. Maybe that was why he never told Diego about Alice. He had begged and begged but Klaus always stayed silent. Because he was _with_ her. Because they were together. It was when Klaus put his hands on her back that he lost it. He was touching her the way _he used to. _He couldn’t watch it. He couldn’t watch them together.

He was burning. No, it wasn’t with anger. As he slammed the door of his car, he turned it on and … and didn’t know where to go. _Go where? She was here._ Something ugly stirred inside him. He wanted to touch her. He wanted to bring food for her, take her out. It was stupid. It was childish.

_She’s not yours._

The voice taunted him.

_She found someone else. Someone better. _

He gulped down the bottle he kept in the car. Anything to distract him from Alice.

Did Klaus touch her all the time? Everywhere?

But wait, wasn’t Klaus _gay_? Sure, he _had_ been the first one to hand them out all the dirty magazines when they had turned 13. But he always laughed it off, and never seemed to be as embarrassed about them as the rest of the guys were. And then there was the whole thing with Ben.

Diego shook his head, and looked back at the building. Now at least, he knew where to find her.

He saw the door open, and Klaus step out, lighting a cigarette. Klaus looked around and smiled, catching Diego. He waved, excitedly. Diego wanted nothing more than to punch his stupid face. Before he could do anything, Klaus was inside the car.

“Put it out, that’s disgusting.” He sneered at Klaus. “Fine fine! God! I know your body’s a temple, but I didn’t realize the feeling was extended to your car too!” Klaus dropped the cigarette outside.

Diego waited, closing his eyes, forcing himself to calm down. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Not Klaus’ not Alice’s. If it was anyone’s, it was his own.

“We’re not like that”, came Klaus’ soft voice, shattering whatever peace he was trying to bring within himself. “Like what?” he asked. He was trying really hard to not fiddle with his knives, instead gripping the steering wheel with a death-hold. “Alice and I, we aren’t together like that. God knows I offered to fuck her, get her laid, I even suggested a threesome so she wouldn’t be alone. Hell, I told her she could watch! But she just never…” he shrugged. “She just never wants anything like that. Not with me, not anyone. We go out, we have a good time. She keeps me off the drugs, and I keep her off Dad’s pills. D-“ his voice shook. Diego looked at his brother and saw him staring at him, the sadness evident on his face. He only looked like that when he was being real. It was always Klaus the clown. But this was the _real _him. “She just, shut down for a long time. I didn’t want to tell you because she didn’t want me to. Like how I didn’t want you to tell anyone about me and Ben.”

Diego remembered. He remembered how he had caught Klaus crying into his pillow, his hand inside his pants, chanting, crying out for Ben. And how he never talked to Klaus about it. It was obvious how Klaus got into drugs, how he lent his body to strangers as soon as he could. How he eventually got clean. How he was able to let Ben go to peace finally.

_That was all her. She made that happen for Klaus. And you did nothing. You were too caught up in your own life. _

Diego leaned back into his seat, wanting to melt into it. The shame washed over him. _She shut down, _Klaus’ voice repeated inside his head. “It wasn’t you. It was after you’d left the house, after you’d joined the Police Academy. She went to dad, she asked him to train her, to make her better, stronger. And she did. She got better. It was like, she was on fire. And then Luther and Alison left, and I just couldn’t stay in there. Something happened. I don’t even know when. Five just found her one day, sitting in the training room, her hands all bloodied, clothes wet, and hair smoking. Then one day, when I came back, I came looking to find stuff I could just pawn off, and Mom and Pogo told me she’d left.”

Klaus stopped. His voice broke. “I was so fucking high when _she _found me. I was somewhere on some alleyway. I woke up there, in that room. And since then, I crashed there whenever I could. She took it all away. All the pain, all the numbness. She had her own addiction. Since you’re here, you should know.” Klaus’ voice changing. It was getting stern, louder.

Diego did nothing, but listen. “She takes one pill a day, and if she needs it, _only _if she needs it, and maybe calls on the lightening. When I got clean, that’s when I noticed stuff. Like so many prescriptions, and so much rain. Remember that time it snowed? Yeah, that’s when I threw out all her bottles.”

Diego remembered that night too. He had run all over town, he had searched high and low. Because he was sure it was _her. _But he never found her. Eudora had broken up with him that night, but he hadn’t cared. He just wanted to see her again.

“Anything else?” he croaked out. He didn’t realize that he was holding his breath for so long. He let out a ragged one, and forced himself to breathe again. “Where was she before?” he asked. He wanted to know. “I don’t know for sure, just a lot of places. When she got back, she was better. And then she went to LA, some deal she was making with someone about her job or something. What happened tonight?” Klaus asked. Diego recounted whatever he knew, and Klaus watched him the whole time. Diego focused straight ahead, trying to remember everything.

The door opened suddenly behind them and Diego almost threw a knife at her, but felt a sense of calm take over as soon as the panic hit him. “Calm down, Papi. It’s just me”, her voice came wafting in. _Papi?  
_Diego groaned. “I hate that! You KNOW I hate that word”, he said, turning to look at her. Her hair had dried, and was tied up. “Darling, why don’t you ever let your hair down?” Klaus said, turning around and reaching out to pull a few strands down.

That’s when Diego noticed it. She _had two of them! “_Your… your eyes!” he gasped out, staring at her face. Alice looked back at him, and he felt like all the air had been crushed out of him. Why hadn’t he seen them earlier!?!?!??! She looked amused, and raised an eye at him. “Really Diego, so much for your powers of observation.” She mumbled. Diego watched as a corner of her now painted red lips raised, and she looked so…so_ her. _

His eyes travelled down, and he was painfully aware of her neck. He had held that neck once. He could see the faint lines of old scars. He could almost feel it again under his hands. He hated himself. And as he felt the shame build up, he felt something else build up. Looking back at her face, he watched as she chewed her lip. How badly he wanted to bite that lip. When his eyes met hers, all feelings of lust he had left him. It was so unsure. Her eyes said another story. It wasn’t filled with what he felt. Of that he was sure.

“If the two of you are done eye-fucking each other, can we get on with tonight? D, won’t you be a sweetheart and spend the rest of the night with us?” Klaus’ voice wafted in. Diego sharply looked back at him, feeling the warmth spread through his entire face and ears. “You _will _be spending it with us, won’t you? I mean,” Klaus gestured to Alice with his head, “You aren’t going to break up our happy reunion now, are you?”

Diego nodded, following Klaus’ cue. He was not going to let her go this time.

“Fine, I don’t know or care what you guys are into, but I swear, Klaus, I am not having a threesome with the two of you either, so don’t go around suggesting things.”

“Ew! Ew ew ew! Honey!” Klaus wailed.

“Please, you couldn’t get me in a hundred years.” Diego said, as he drove to club, earning him a giggle from the back-seat. He smiled to himself, wanting to hear more of that sweet voice.

He parked his car at his gym, which was just a couple of 100 meters away from the club Klaus wanted to go to. It was an ok place, but it was just too loud and too crowded for Diego. As he locked up, he watched Alice step out and stretch. She was wearing a t-shirt again, this time tied in a tight knot on the side, and a tight skirt.

A _very tight skirt. _That a slit on the side, that just showed off the right amount of thigh.

It wasn’t very short, stopping just in the middle of her thighs, which were shapely. They were by no means the skinny legs that they were years ago. His eyes roamed all over her body. She had beautiful curves all over her, but she seemed to hide them with the t-shirt. Something pocked out from under her skirt, just almost and he wondered what was under it. She seemed to be turning, and when he looked up, she was facing the other way, at the wall. Her shoulders looked like they trembled a bit, and she rolled them, arching her back, bending her neck to the right, and then left.

She looked like she was getting ready for a fight. Her arms were raised to either sides, until she bent one, and grabbed her elbow, pulling in onto her back. She kept stretching. Her t-shirt went up a bit, and he caught a glimpse of her waist as she turned one way and then another. It made him want to see more. More of her.

Klaus was nibbling at another cigarette and watching him. Diego looked at him and raised his eyebrows. Klaus shook his head at him, looking back at Alice and then at him. Diego walked over to his brother, and whispered “What?!” “Back the fuck off man. She needs to vent. And she is _not nearly _as relaxed as she usually is. Who’s fault is that huh? When we get in, if she dances, if she goes to someone, just let her do her thing, alright? Just trust me, she knows what she’s doing and she can handle it” He ended. Klaus blew a puff of smoke his way, and Diego felt his anger build up, coughing and stepping away from Klaus.

_Honestly! _It was like Klaus didn’t trust him with her. Almost reading his mind, Klaus gestured, pointing two fingers at his own eyes and back at Diego’s, mouthing, I’m watching you, at him. He shrugged.

He knew what he wanted. He never danced. He just wanted to watch. He wanted to be part of her life. That was all.

When she was done, Alice turned and walked over, linking her arms with Klaus’, and looking back at him. He felt the warmth again, pooling inside of him and running up to his face, as well as other places. She cocked her head and soon he was following them to the club. Getting in was not a problem, Klaus was always able to get into any club he wanted.

As they walked in, he watched as many of the people inside grinded and thrusted at each other. It was almost like one giant big orgy. He watched as he saw someone take a pill from the corner of his eye, and before he followed the man who had passed it, he looked ahead. She was following Klaus, but her eyes were searching the crowd. Her eyes met his.

Through all the smoke, the lights, her eyes were on his. He stared back at her. It was almost like time had stopped. Until someone shoved into him. He smashed into the countertop on the side as a bunch of girls giggled, and were clearly drunk, apologizing. Their hands roamed and he barely heard a word of what they said, but their eyes said that they were hungry. He pushed them off, as one of them reached for his face, and looked back, searching for her eyes. He caught a glimpse of Klaus on a table somewhere, and he was shaking a bottle, popping it. He looked around for the drug dealer. He saw the man, and he was talking to the bartender, clearly flirting with her. He moved over to the dealer, and stopped in his tracks. Alice was with _him. _

He grunted as the dealer hugged her, and put his hands on her waist. He growled. _How dare he! _He felt all the rage and wrath of the night build up, threatening to explode from him, as the man’s other hand reached up and touched her face. He pushed and shoved his way through the crowd that suddenly seemed to swarm around him, trying to get to the man before he could touch her anymore. His hand dropped lower and a finger drew a line on her leg. And just as suddenly, his hands dropped off her, loosely hanging on either sides of the bar stools. When she stepped away, he was left with a look of _emptiness. _Diego had only seen that look on addicts, when they had gone over the threshold of reality.

She took a few steps away and seemed to shudder. She didn’t seem ok. Not ok at all. Her arms came up and held her elbows, hugging her self. He almost managed to get to her when her face went up looking straight at the ceiling, and tears streamed down.

He was washed over, with different kinds of emotions. And looking around, he realized he wasn’t the only one. Everyone was dancing, _slower. Fear, hurt, anger, despair. _

_So much despair. _He almost choked on it. And just as quickly as it hit him, it was gone. His face felt cold, as did his fingers. There smoke everywhere, and flashing lights. He felt someone’s hand on his, dragging him away, towards what, he couldn’t see. He was still reeling when he was pushed onto a couch, and suddenly everything was a lot quieter.

Looking up, he saw Alice in front of him, a hand on his shoulders, and another on his face, asking him something. He blinked, wondering why he couldn’t hear her, and felt her shaking him, her face twisted with worry, and almost panic. Her hand was on his face and she was pulling at something, inside him. He recognized it, he recognized her inside him, coaxing him out. He moved his face, and felt his lips brush against something soft, and saw it was her palm. Her thumb was rubbing a pot behind his ear. Eventually he found his voice. He looked back at her, to see she was now relieved. 

“Fucking hell, you gave me a scare! Are you better now?” she asked him, leaning back against the table behind her. He gulped and nodded. She was really close to him. And he _felt _so much more relaxed than, than a long time.

“I’m sorry, I had to get you out. You caught a strong one just then. I didn’t realize you were right behind me. It’s a lot easier if people are drunk or high. I had to, you know?” She said, her hands on her head, scrunching her hair and then on her neck. Why did she take them off him? When did she take them off him? He still felt her palm on his lips, and it was so warm.

“So, that’s what you do. You let it out, here.” He said, nodding behind her. Looking around he realized they were in some sort of private room.

“Yeah.” She shrugged, her shoulders raising and falling. She was breathing heavily. She was looking away. “I need to go get Klaus. Will you be ok on your own?” she asked, standing up quickly, and pushing the table back.

Diego stood up so fast, he felt his head spin a bit and he reached out to the couch behind him to steady himself. “Woah there, big guy.” She exclaimed, her hands grabbing his arms. His arms instinctly grabbed onto hers. He heard her gasp and when he looked down at her, felt her tremble under his fingers as her eyes looked straight at his chest. 

He smiled on the inside, it was good to know she felt _something _too. She was still smaller than him, he felt her fingers on his arm, squeezing him slightly and then letting go, squeezing again. Her lips parted and she breathed in through it. Her eyebrows scrunched adorably tight into the center of her forehead, and he watched as her throat made some sort of movement, and her face turned pink. So beautifully pink.

Her tongue darted out, and licked her lips, before she bit into her lower lip. It was a nervous thing. “I.. I need to go get Klaus, ok?” she almost whispered at him. Her eyes looked up at him slowly, and her lips parted again. He wanted nothing more than to claim them, to put his hands behind her neck and grab her, pulling her up to him. This was more than just _lust. _This was _more. More _than what he had ever felt with any other woman.

He nodded at her, and forced himself to drop his arms off her. She took her hands off him, gasping softly, like she had only just realized that she was holding him. One hand flew to her chest, which was rising and falling rapidly. She took a few steps back quickly, and stumbled as she hit the table behind her. “Are _you _ok?” he asked, stepping forward. She nodded quickly, and moved just as quickly away from him.

He stopped in his tracks. He recognized that movement. It was like she was almost _scared_. He felt like shit. He remembered the last time he _wanted _her to flinch away from him. From everyone. But back then they were kids, and he was just so stupid. SO full of himself. Instead, she had come to him, full of trust, full of warmth. And he had broken her.

She turned around and walked out of the room. He fell back on the couch behind him, and put his head in his hands.

_So so stupid! What was he thinking?! What was he doing? This was Alice. _

He couldn’t have Alice. He shouldn’t have Alice. He shouldn’t be even trying. He always looked for her, and now he had found her, now what?  
She said it would be great if they could go back to way things were. But they couldn’t. He had made sure of it. He felt everything almost pour out of him, and punched the floor, trying to push it all back in. He didn’t want her to see him like this.   
_Vulnerable. Weak. And after all he had said to her the last time he had seen her._

It was after another mission. He was tired. And angry. So so angry. Luther was full of himself. Luther was an idiot. And of course Alison agreed with everything he said. But Luther was wrong. He was right. Five was an idiot. Everyone was an idiot. He stormed in, unable to control his anger. He lunged at Luther when he said something about getting Alice to fix him. Five had tried to teleport and bring him down, but he was too fast. He had thrown a knife to Luther, hit him, punched him. His was so blinded by his rage, by his wrath, that he had shut his eyes and hit whatever was in front of him to get it out. He didn’t even see who it was in front of him until it was too late. He’d blacked out. When he opened his eyes, he saw _her _under him. Saw her bleeding, her face bruised and broken. Her hand on his leg, siphoning all his anger away, out of him, into her. But she didn’t look angry. There was just so much blood. He remember being taken off her, and then into his room.

Mom had taken her, and the next time he saw her, she was in bandages. She had smiled at him and walked to him, but _he _pushed her away. He kept his distance. Every time he looked at her, he felt nothing but shame and self-hate. He trained harder. He was painfully aware about how vulnerable and easy-to-break she was. And he never wanted to hurt her.

It was easier through the years. She had cornered him once, after he got back, and he was leaving the next day. He had told her that he couldn’t stay. That he couldn’t be there. That she had to grow up. That she _held _him back. That _she _was the reason he had failed the Police Academy’s test the first time and he needed to focus. He pushed her away hard. He remembered the look she had on her face when he said his goodbyes to her. After everything they had done together, all the late nights together, holding each other, talking about his dreams, her listening, falling asleep next to each other. Catching glimpses of each other through their windows when dad was up, and they couldn’t be next to each other.

After everything, after promising her he would get them both out, he left her.

Klaus said something had happened one day.

That was always what had happened. Maybe she had remembered something from _before _the Umbrella Academy. Maybe it wasn’t his fault. She had told him once about someone in her dream once. She never had that nightmare again. Or at least he thought until now. He didn’t know. Maybe she did. Was she alone then? Klaus also said that she wasn’t interested in anyone. Did that mean anything?


	9. Chapter 9

Music blasted in and he looked up to see Klaus walk in with girls and boys on either sides. The door swung shut, and the lights went dim, music starting up on the inside. Alice reappeared next to him. She didn’t sit, standing the whole time. Diego looked up at her. Her beautiful beautiful face. He felt her hand on his shoulder, and he felt instantly better. He shook his head and tried to bat her hand off him, but she pushed down firmly. “Just let me, alright?” she shouted at him, over the music. When she finally let go, he felt… _better. _If he had to describe it, it would like feeling lighter than air. Sighing, he picked up her hand on his shoulder, and turned it over, brushing it against his face. He realized just as soon as he’d done it. It was what _he used to do. _When she _used_ to come to him. It was an unconscious movement. He felt her hand freeze, and tremble under his grip. He didn’t want to let go. _Why did he have to? _She had said that she wanted to go back to the way things used to be. _Wasn’t this ok? Wasn’t this a start?_

Her hand held his, and he felt a tight squeeze. When he looked up at her, she wasn’t looking back at him. She was looking at the floor. The music wafted in and out, and it was a slow one. A soft one. Not the harsh ones that was usually played in a club. The lights were dim, everything was slow. Diego found himself standing up, pulling her hand close to his neck, and putting his other arm around her waist. All he wanted was to hold her again. Why couldn’t he? He pulled her, and when she didn’t budge, he took a step closer to her. If she were to push him, he would pull back harder. He watched as her eyes slowly travelled up, stopping at his chest. Her hand moved, painfully slow, down from his neck, where his hair stood on end, to his shoulder, down his arm, to his chest. His heart was beating loud. So loud. It was so warm.

He gulped. They definitely never had touched each other like this. Ever. He had wanted to. God knows he had wanted to. But he knew if he had started to, he wouldn’t have been able to stop. He would’ve done things to her that would have ruined everything. And back then, he was convinced, he was sure that he would _break _her. That she was a small soft thing to protect. He raised his hand, brushing it against her face, pushing the hair out of her beautiful face.

His breath caught in his throat. She was just _too _stunning. Too breath-taking. He held her chin and pushed it up, forcing her eyes up, to his face. Her beautiful dark dark eyes. Both of them. He saw as they filled up, glassy. He couldn’t understand what could possibly make her want to cry. Her chest rose and fell faster, and he saw her gulp down.

She was just… her. Her lips parted just slightly. Diego hadn’t seen anything so pure, so beautiful, so _sad. _His finger reached up, wiping away the tear, but it didn’t stop. Another followed it. She closed her eyes, and pushed her face into his shoulder, her face turned into his neck. He felt her breath on him, and closed his eyes. He felt her hair, her soft hair. He teased it out of the bun on the back of her head and felt her shiver. He pulled her closer, tighter, wanting to make her warmer. She moved her head, pushing her face straight into him, and then turning it the other way. He saw her face for just a second, and it was twisted in sadness. He felt her shiver again under him, this time he knew she was crying, sobbing.

_She doesn’t trust you. She doesn’t want you like that. She probably thinks of you as her bigger brother. Nothing more. And you hurt her. You let her down. _

He felt the weight comeback, crashing down on him. The reality of everything. Back. He opened his eyes, and felt it harder to breath, his emotions reaching out of him. He felt his eyes water, and squeezed her harder. He cried. After what felt like years, he let his sadness overcome him. He let it out. He felt her hands behind him, grabbing his shirt, and twisting it, crumbling it under her grip. He didn’t know how long he just stood there, crying with her in his arms. He felt her hands pull back, until they were on his arms, pushing him off. They were gripping hard onto him, and he finally let her go, letting her step away from him.

She didn’t let go immediately, and for some reason, that made him feel a little better.

When she looked up at him, her eyes were puffy. “I need to leave now. I’ve got work”, she whispered, her voice hoarse. Diego nodded and looked back at Klaus who was busy grinding up between two guys. When he looked back, she was already at the door. He felt the panic rise. She was fast! He ran as fast as he could, trying to get to her, through the crowd of people in front of him, shoving as many people as he could out of his way. When he finally made it out the front door, he looked around to find her walking very quickly on the left pavement. He rushed up, and slowed down as he reached just behind her, matching her pace.

“Can I drop you home, or walk you home? Just.. let me?” he asked, his voice starting high, and dropping low at the end. She didn’t look at him, chewing the inside of her cheek. “Fine. You can drop me home. I don’t have a lot of time.” she replied, her voice soft, deep in thought

“Ok”, he nodded and they walked across the street together, back to his car. She settled in next to him. “So, what do you do?” he asked as he started up the car and focused on getting the car on the road. “I edit articles. And I write stuff.” She replied, a smile in her voice. “Stuff?” he enquired. When the lights caught her face as they drove, she looked beyond stunning.

“Stuff.” She replied, this time giggling. “It was all because of Allison really. She started the whole thing by lending me this book that was just terribly written. I rewrote the entire thing and sent it back to the publishing house. A week later I got a job offer from them. They have authors from all over the world, writing for them. But they never had someone re-write something. So that’s what I do.”

“Wow. It sounds so…. Quiet.” He replied. It didn’t seem like the kind of job she would enjoy. “It’s boring, but it gets through the night and when I can’t sleep. I can work at my own pace, and pay my bills. It accommodates me. And that’s what matters right now.” She replied.

“And what do you do? For money I mean. Crime-fighting has it’s own rewards, I’m sure” he coud feel her rolling her eyes at him, “But how do you eat?”

“And here I thought you knew everything about me” he replied, smirking at his satisfaction. It was a small and stupid victory, but he liked it.

“Fine don’t tell me if you don’t want to. Klaus was sure that you were in an S&M club at one point and that you worked there. We had bets you know.” She rolled her shoulders and got comfortable in the seat.

“And what did you _think _I did?” he asked her. He wanted to keep talking to her. He wanted _her _to keep talking to him.

“I wasn’t sure. Between being a kink-daddy to boxing for money, or maybe one of those guys who caught those wanted by the law, like a bounty hunter. Fighting sounded the most… _you. _But I thought, or hoped, that just maybe you had more to your life by now.” Her voice dropped at the end.

He wasn’t sure what to say to that. All he had ever known to do was fight, to hurt, to push. To look for and catch the bad guys. But nothing beyond that. That was _why _he was number 2. But he hadn’t ever really wondered about being more than that. More than the Umbrella Academy, yes. But more than … whatever he was now? Where would he start?

“I work at the gym and train people, with boxing, with working out. It started out with cleaning and locking up, in exchange for a place to sleep. I didn’t want to depend on dad and you don’t really make any money when you’re studying at the Police academy. So,” he shrugged, remembering how the first few months were like, wanting to run back to her, to mom, to home, “so I just stayed there. Eventually I left the police, things got… complicated.” He pulled up to outside of her place. He couldn’t believe how quickly they’d got back.

He got out of the car and walked with her, to her door. He noticed a box sitting outside her door step. She opened her door, and pushed the box inside with her foot. Turning around to look him, he saw that she had that look back in her eyes. That look which didn’t say much. But said a lot at the same time. The only problem was that he couldn’t make out _what _it was that it said. His frustration must have showed because she smiled. It wasn’t the smile that brightened everything up in his life back in his room. It was a sad smile. “Can I drop in, sometime? Would that be ok?” he asked her.

“Sure. Why not? Maybe I’ll drop in too sometime. Just, don’t get in my way? I don’t do go all out like you do with the vigilante thing. I try to help in more indiscreet ways. Maybe you should lay low for a while? The thing with the Chief, I don’t know how long it’ll take to blow over.” Her hand came up to her head, and rubbed her forehead. He reached out and hugged her. It was a quick one, and he didn’t want to let her go. But he did after one small squeeze.

He looked at her, and her face was pink again, her arms half in the way. He grinned at her, “Take care. See you tomorrow” he said, and waited for her to go in. He just wanted to make sure she was fine.

She nodded at him and walked backwards, not taking her eyes off him, and closed the door.

He tilted his head up, and sighed out aloud. He leaned against the door, and heard her lock and close all the latches on the inside. He wondered if he’d just heard her sigh too.

He went back to his car, and drove it off. If he knew her, she would probably watch to see if he left. He left for a while, and came back a little while later. He had grabbed some surveillance equipment. He wouldn’t get in her way, for now. And he definitely wanted to keep his eyes on her.

When she left, it was the next night. She had stepped out, and had her phone in her hand. Maybe he could tap it or hack it or something, just to see who she called so often.

_This is unhealthy. You’re stalking her. _  
The voice in his head annoyed him, it was the stupid voice of reason. But he didn’t want reason.

As soon as she’d gone out of sight, he leaned back, grabbing his duffel bag. He walked around the building, finally finding a window. It was high. But he easily made it through, without breaking anything.

Her place was clean, which meant he had to be cleaner. He went through every cabinet, drawer, cupboard, slowly looking through, and placing everything back. When he finally got to her mattress, he lifted it up, loosening the boards under it. He clicked his flashlight on, and looked around. There was a duffel bag there, her guns, and a box. Opening it, there was a picture. Of them. All of them. And bottles of pills. Some were prescription, some were unlabeled. There was another box, it was more ornate. It was dad’s box. He knew it. He’d remembered how protective dad was of it. He opened it, and found nothing inside.

Putting it back, he kept snooping. There was cash, at least about 5000 dollars. And then passports, they all had her face on it, but different countries. They had to be illegal. He knew several of those countries didn’t allow for dual citizenships. Putting them back, eh found some money again, foreign currencies.

Just what it was she did, it wasn’t just _writing. _Putting everything back, he closed the floorboards slowly. He had to work faster. He looked inside the box next to his bed and almost chocked. It had condoms, sleeping pills, and _sex toys. _He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen some of them. There were whips, corsets, chockers, blindfolds. A whole array of stuff. He picked up one pair of handcuffs, that looked very worn. He wondered if she’d used them on anyone, or if anyone had used them on her. He couldn’t help but feel pissed again.

Of course she had a kink. Of course she’d had sex. Maybe she just didn’t tell Klaus about it. Maybe she didn’t tell anyone. Maybe she had a boyfriend. Maybe she had several.

He didn’t know now, but he would find out. He threw the handcuffs back in the box, and clenched his fists, envy rearing its ugly head at him.

_Of course she had sex. You had too. Of course she went to another man. Or woman. Did you think she would wait for you? You didn’t give her any reason to. _

He shook his head, trying to clear his head. He needed to get to work. He put his bag down, and opened it, taking out small bugs and started to place them around. He didn’t get to her laptop because he hear footsteps outside. He got out through the bathroom window, making sure he left everything the way he found it.

He dropped down and ran back to the side of the building, and watched as some guy spoke to her. He was very chatty and she laughed. He didn’t want to hear what about. He didn’t seem to be going anywhere, and she wasn’t opening her door. Wasn’t that the universal sign of ‘_Not tonight’?_

She finally took her keys out of her bag and kept talking to him. The guy took one step forward and she put a hand on his chest. Diego felt anger. She was touching him.

Her hand pulled back, until only one finger was on his chest. Diego recognized the look on the guy’s face. It was pure unadulterated awe and lust. The guy took one more step forward. Before Diego could move, the guy staggered back holding his chest.

Alice dropped her bag and went over to him and patted him on the back. Finally the guy walked away.

When she turned back to her door, she was smirking. She stopped before putting the key into the door and Diego lurked further into the shadow. She looked straight at him. And then shook her head as she opened the door and locked it behind her.

Diego waited, and looked back to see the lights go on in her bathroom window. He ran back to his car, and drove back to the gym.

As fast as he could, he grabbed some dinner and got back to his room. He turned on one of the laptops he usually used and settled in. He watched on the many little windows he had opened and watched. She was at her laptop, and typing away furiously. Not much changed for 5, 10, eventually 45 minutes. He sighed. What was he worried about? He changed and went into the gym, as his shift started.

When he was done with cleaning and locking up, he checked the computer again. She was in bed now. He watched her as she slept, and couldn’t help wishing he was with her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diego and OC begin to lemony it up, but of course she starts to panic and things get, well not so lemony. I'm going to be finishing this up real soon. I had some other ideas that kept pushing in half way through.

You sighed and stretched. You had been hunched over your laptop for the last couple of hours. You looked around, finding the bottle of water by the corner of the table. You grabbed it and downed it. You’d been working on and off lately. You’d been waking up every hour or so, until you finally decided to just get back to work.

Looking back at the computer, you smiled. You were very pleased with yourself. This author was coming out excellently and his drafts were better than before. Corresponding with him was a lot more easier than with the publishing house. People were just so unnecessarily complicated and sometimes just talking to the one person made your job better. He had some pretty dark ideas, and you really only had to do was walk him through several improvements.

You saved your work, and sent it back. Your job as a ghost writer for smut stories was more than brilliant. You didn’t have to deal with anyone, got paid well enough. The anonymity was the best.

And Diego had asked about it. You wondered what he would think if he knew the kind of _articles _and _editing _you did. If he would look down on you in shame or wonder. If he would look up at you with his lips trembling, wanting you. Anyone who looked at Diego would think of him having a whole leather kink. It suited his look. You wouldn’t have been surprised if his entire wardrobe comprised of just black.

You wondered if he enjoyed hurting people. Ben hadn’t, from what Klaus told you. Diego always was a ‘Shoot first, question if alive, if necessary, later’ kind of guy. You wondered if he was like that in sex. You shuddered, remembering the one and only time you had gone out looking for him. It shook you to your core. Up until then you always thought of Diego, as just… Diego. Just _your _Diego. Who shouted and yelled but would never _actually _do anything that would part the two of you forever.

And you had found him, in his car, making love, _no_, _fucking, _brutally fornicating, with the woman from work. You had always been jealous of her, and then all the emotions you felt right after that tore into you. You had felt betrayed, but it was more than that. Diego had practically told you to fuck off, and yet you had convinced yourself he never meant it, that it was just Diego being angry. Diego unable to collect his anger. You had told yourself nights over and over again, until you had seen _him with her._ You were numb for days until you hit yourself with numerous bolts of lightning, hoping it would quell at least a fraction of the pain, the rage, the pure despair you had felt within you. Hoping it would calm the storm inside you. You left the academy as soon as you could after that, and travelled, as much as you could. You experienced as many emotions, watched humanity at its darkest, at its weakest, at its best. You put yourself through it all.

And when you’d come back, you had come back with a simple stark realization. That you were only human. As was Klaus, as was Diego. As was everyone. Vanya was finally writing her own music, and deliriously happy. Luther and Alison were on and off, Hollywood’s favorite couple. Five was at some prestigious university, discovering things. You spoke to as many of your siblings, as often you could have back then, eventually running out of things to say. Because the person you wanted to talk to the most was Diego. But you knew you could never look him in the eye again. You could never accept him, knowing that you _burned _for him in ways that he would never accept. And Klaus was here with you, just as broken as you were. You stretched again as you closed your laptop. Laying back in your mattress, you felt antsy, and tossed over and over. Grabbing your phone you looked at the time. You hadn’t heard from Klaus in two days now. Not since the club. It was worrisome. You tried to but sleep eluded you. Finally, you got up and looked around, you’d had this feeling before, like you were being watched. You were sure that Diego was lurking outside your apartment earlier, when the pain-in-the-ass food vendor wouldn’t leave you alone. You’d bought a hot dog from him, and he said he was closing up, and followed you home. You just wanted a quiet night to finish all the drafts.

You hated having to depend on your powers to get through situations. You had been using them less often these past few years. Which was a great achievement. But there would always be off days.

You looked back at your phone, and sighed, dialing Klaus. You listened to the unanswered call, and dialed for him two more times. The worry crept in like a gnawing rat. You changed into pants and a t-shirt, before grabbing your jersey and getting to the door. You kept your phone on you. What if Klaus was in trouble? What if he needed help? What if he had relapsed?

_And when has calling Diego been an option you were willing to take?, _the voice in your head mocked you.

You bit your lip. It was just an excuse. You just wanted to feel his arms around you, you wanted to feel his breath on your skin, you wanted to have goosebumps, and let him ruin you the way your sex toys never could even begin to. You shook your head, wanting to push all those feelings away into the little box inside. Your life was always about boxes. You smiled as you locked the door behind you. You hadn’t a pill, nor had you called on the lightening. You were going to be fine. You didn’t need Diego.

You went around town, everywhere, looking for Klaus. The usual clubs didn’t have him, and the usual bars didn’t have him. No one had seen him. And now you felt the panic start to hit you again. The last time he had disappeared, you had found him months later, in a drug den, unconscious. It was bad. You stopped outside your old house. _Maybe, just maybe_.

You walked in, pushing the door and listening to the loud yet empty creak it made. Memories flooded your system as you looked around, the floor where Five found you drenched and numb, the couch where Diego lay his head on your lap, the place where you healed Klaus after dad left him in the mausoleum for over 24 hours, the place where Diego hit you. Walking in you waited, and heard _nothing. _Mom wasn’t here and neither was Pogo. They had both left when dad died. They were travelling the world, the last you spoke to them. And they were both happier.

You walked around, finally going up the stairs, to your old bedroom. _Ben’s _old bedroom. Clothes were strewn everywhere. And not your clothes. Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes and put a feeler out for him. Klaus was not in the building. But he _had been_ here. _Shit. _  
It wasn’t going to be a good night for him.  
You grabbed your phone, praying to all the gods you knew that Diego would pick up.

“Hey”, a groggy voice greeted you. It was insanely sexy. Your closed eyes imagined a naked Diego in bed, talking to you on the phone, whispering dirty things to you.

_FOCUS!_

“Have you heard from or seen Klaus?” you asked him, as you made your way to the door.   
“Alice? No, not since the night at the club. Why? Is he ok? Are you ok?” his voice was alert. You could hear him moving around, which meant he was getting dressed. You chewed the inside of your cheek. “No, that’s why I’m worried.” You replied. “I’ve looked everywhere and I can’t find him. I don’t know where else to look, besides police station. The last time he disappeared, it was bad. Really bad. And, and , and if he isn’t.. if he isn’t there, maybe the hospital, maybe something happened, maybe …. Maybe..” you choked, suddenly feeling it harder to breath. “Where are you now?” came Diego’s voice, ringing into your ears. “I was just at the Academy. I’m on my way to you” you managed to spit the words out. You heard the clouds rumble slowly behind you.

_NO! I don’t need you yet. I can do it by myself.   
_You cursed inwardly. You weren’t that weak. You could hold on. You didn’t know, maybe Klaus was fine, was ok. Maybe he had just one too many loud and crazy nights, and he was just chilling out in a coffee shop somewhere. You hoped. You prayed as your steps got louder and more erratic. You were running before you realized. You slowed down as you saw Diego, and stopped in front of him as he locked the door to the gym behind you. You tried to catch your breath, your hands on your knees, and struggling to breathe, your legs burning. You _hated_ having to ask for help.

“I didn’t want to call you or bother you or… but I couldn’t find him and when I went back- when I went back, everything-“-you felt the panic hit you, and the box was rattling inside, “fuuuuuuuuuccck… just give me a minute. Just … can you think of any places where he could have gone?” you forced the words out of you as you tried to calm yourself down. You could feel the call within you, whining, wanting more.

_You were doing so good! You were doing just fine! Just calm down.  
_You heard the rumble above you and you looked up, “NO! I didn’t call you, just LEAVE!” You shrieked at the clouds above. You felt the rage over flow you as you focused everything at the darkness above you, and it slowly rolled away. You felt something else, an arm, no, two arms, around you. Your face was wet, and you realized it was raining. And Diego held you. “I’m ok. We need to go.. we need to find..”

“It’s ok. We can get him. I’m sure he’s ok.”

“But he’s not. I went back, and Ben’s clothes, they were everywhere. It was like the house was robbed, but not.” You whispered into Diego’s shoulder. His arms were _around you. _His hands were on your back, rubbing you in circles, and it was calming, soft. “What do we do?” you croaked out. The thought of Klaus, out, alone, shivering, it hurt you. It pained you.

You felt everything go back inside your little box, sneaking in. You looked up at Diego, as he pulled away. He took a good look at you, his dark eyes filled with worry. “We go to the police, and they can call the hospitals. They have more man-power to help us look for him.” You nodded and let him take your hand, leading you to the car. He drove in silence, occasionally looking over to you. You stared out the window, and looked up, willing the clouds away. You were trying your best to push them off, but they were still there, hanging back, waiting for you.

_Where the hell could Klaus be?_

Just as the though slipped in, you gasped and shouted, “STOP! I SEE HIM!”, and Diego slammed the brakes, as you almost flew off your seat. You looked down to see Diego’s arm outstretched, holding you back. You whipped your head around as you saw, for sure, Klaus walking, with another man. You pushed the door open and ran up to him, screaming his name so loudly that people got out of your way. As he turned around, you crushed into him. “Where the _fuck _were you?! I was so scared, I, I.. I thought the worst! I even called Diego. Why didn’t you call?! What the hell man?! And you’re just, you’re just walking around, like everything’s fucking perfect?! What, why are you laughing?!!?!”

You couldn’t remember being so unbelievably mad at Klaus as the tears stung your eyes. His eyes were smiling. You didn’t remember when his eyes looked that happy. “WHAT?!” you shouted at him, smacking him the chest with both your hands. “Woah woah baby! C’mon!” he said, raising both his hands, and stumbling a few steps back. His eyes went from you to the man behind you. You whipped around to look at him, with his hands in his hoody, grinning at the both of you. You looked back at Klaus, and _reached out. _He was over-flowing with joy and peace.

You stood back up, shakily. You looked back at the guy, and Diego reached up to you. He stared at the guy, his mouth open. “What?!”you urged him. Who was this guy?

“Darling, it is with great joy, and all the pleasure in the world,” he giggled, as Klaus put his arms around the man’s waist, “that I introduce you to the love of my entire pathetic existence. Alice, this is my Ben, and Ben,” he kissed the man on the cheek, “this is our Alice.”

“Ben, really, man? Is that really…you?” you heard Diego gasp, and whisper, taking a few steps ahead. He held out a hand and pushed the man in the hoody, who chuckled. “I’m just as surprised as you are, D” he replied. You felt the soft rumble inside you, the confusion refusing to go away, continuing to gather inside you. Diego was suddenly hugging him, and Klaus clapped his hands practically bouncing. Until he saw you. He came up to you and grabbed both your hands with both of his, raising one at a time to plant a kiss on each of them. “Shh! It’s alright, I’m alright! I’m so sorry! I’ve just been, been trying to figure this all out. After that night at the club, he just, sort of popped up again. But I could touch him, really touch him this time. And then we saw that other people could see him too, and all I wanted was to touch him and feel him, and let him touch me, and…I’m so sorry. I just didn’t think about anything. I’m so sorry.”

You knew you should be happy for him. That would be the most appropriate thing to do. So you plastered your biggest smile on your face. “Yea well, now if Ben’s here to stay, he can worry for the both of us about your sorry ass,” you wheezed out. But all you felt was despair. A deep deep sadness. _Why? Because Klaus had forgotten you._ It hurt. Insanely. You realized this was how Vanya must have felt for a while until her powers emerged. Forgotten. Left alone. You couldn’t give into all that now. _Now _was for Klaus and Ben.

“Pleased to meet you,” you said, louder than you meant to, as Diego and Ben parted. As he took your hand to shake it, you felt his warmth. He winced when you pinched his hand, and he pulled back, looking at you strangely. “Sorry, I just wanted to make sure, you were real.” You had felt him out, and he felt _real. Happy. Confused. A little scared. But so happy. _

You watched as the three of them talked, laughed and even hugged together. You didn’t want to stay there. You looked at Diego. He was excited. The last time he looked like that was when you were kids. You stared up at the sky, trying to push it all in.

“Wanna grab something to eat, since we’re all out anyway?” you heard Ben’s voice cut through. The silence was almost deafening. You looked back at the group, to see that everyone was staring at you. You plastered the smile back on, “Sure. Let’s go to Griddy’s” you suggested and turned, walking towards the coffeehouse. Your hands were stuffed into your jersey, and you forced yourself to breathe. In through the nose, out through the mouth. You kept at it, zoning out about whatever it was that _they _talked about. So that was Ben. _Their Ben. _You felt a hand on your shoulder and turn you, and you immediately grabbed it, twisting it hard as you could. You let go as soon as you realized it was Diego. “I’m.. I’m sorry. You shouldn’t sneak up on people.” you said, immediately, grabbing Diego’s arm and pulling it back towards you as you examined his palm and wrist. You looked at him to see him wince and grin at you. “We’re here, and you didn’t hear me calling out for you. Where were you?” he asked, tapping you on the head with his free hand. You grinned, and sighed. “No-where unpleasant. I was just thinking that, that it was nice. Ben’s back, and we should tell the others. But then there’s no rush, and that Klaus and Ben should.. heh.. catch up on lost time, if you know what I mean.” You said, squeezing Diego’s palm, as you tried to bring back feeling into it. His palms were strangely soft, even though his fingers were calloused at certain places. You turned it over and looked at his darker skin. Still soft, but bruised. It was always bruised. “They shouldn’t be the only ones catching up… on lost time I mean.” He whispered, and you felt his breath close to your face. You smirked. Of course he had no idea what you meant. You meant Ben and Klaus banging each other out of their systems, but of course Diego would think that you meant them innocently recapping their lives. “Sure, why not, right?” you breathed out, and looking up. The look Diego was giving you caught you off guard and you couldn’t breathe properly. The look was hard, intense, raw. It was the look you had thought he looked at you with when you were teenagers, when he looked at you through the window after you woke up after a nap, or after you got back from Five’s room, completely wanting to have your brains fucked out of you. You watched as his eyes left yours, travelling lower to your lips, and resting there. You sucked it in, and bit down on it. _Could he feel the way he made you feel? Was it possible? _  
You focused on his face, and could feel his pulse through his wrist, and it was irregular. It was _hot. _He felt hot. You gulped, and opened your lips, letting your tongue dart out to quickly wet your very dry lips. You shivered, and you felt the wrist you held move, grabbing the side of your shoulder as it brought you closer to him.

_No. This is you. This is all you. You want him and you’re pushing your feelings onto him. He doesn’t want this. You’re just manipulating him.   
_The voice in your head urged you. But you just wanted to taste him. Just once. If he got a little closer, just a little bit.

And almost as though he heard you, his arm moved lower, until it reached your waist. “Feeling better?” he asked, softly. You wondered why his voice was so hoarse. His eyes were still on your lips. You found it harder to breathe. You watched as his eyes went lower, and you slowly craned you neck, wanting him to really look at you. You heard him breathe sharply as you moved, and it looked like he would devour your neck.

The silence was interrupted by an urgent tapping sound. It was so loud, as though right next to you. When you looked, it was indeed next to you, at the window. Ben was staring at Diego, looking incredulous, as Klaus sat next to him, looking a little ashamed. You tugged at Diego, who finally ripped his eyes off you and at Ben. “Right”, he muttered softly, and you felt his hand graze your arm, slowly moving down to your hand.

You felt your arm and neck _burn. _It wasn’t a painful burn. It was a _longing burn. _You wanted Diego to touch you, to keep touching you. He squeezed your hand and led you inside the café. Klaus had already ordered your drinks, except for Diego’s. He never drank anything sugary, yours was an espresso. You felt Diego push you into the booth, sliding in next to you, trapping you inside. You liked it, as he took control, and as he draped his arm behind you. But you were careful to not get too close to Diego. His arms were bulky. But you had to keep your distance. This was the second time you had almost kissed him. That you had almost had him kiss you.

As much as you were trying to enjoy this little family reunion, you watched Klaus and Ben, with a nagging feeling in the back of your head. There was a lull in the conversation and you cleared your throat. “Ben, I’m sorry”, you said, looking straight at the man in front of you. You gripped your hands tightly. “I know what you meant to Klaus, what he meant to you, and I made him give you up. To let you go. To push you away. I thought, that it was the right thing, and I’m so sorry.” You looked down and waited. But all you heard was a chuckle. When you looked up, you saw Ben grinning stupidly at you. You raised your eyebrow at him and looked at Klaus, who was positively glowing, and turning a little red. You groaned as you realized what they were doing under the table.

“Guys, really?” you sighed, throwing your head back and hitting it against Diego’s arm.

“What can I say! I missed him!” Ben said, laughing. You watched as Klaus gasped and giggled, turning redder every second. “Let’s get out of here, before we get thrown out.” You said looking at Diego, who was covering his smile with his other hand. He laughed and stood up, letting you side out, and after paying, you made your way out.

“Thank you”, you said out loud. Diego looked at you, still smiling. It was a beautiful smile. Your heart skipped a beat and you felt like all the worries in the world fly off your shoulders. You smiled back at him. In the back of your head, you felt that nagging little worry creep up.

“Home?” he asked, walking at your pace to the car. “The apartment? I’m not sure. Maybe I’ll run. You?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t heard anything on the radio that needs my attention and I’ve already locked up the gym. Maybe I’ll just train for a while. Would you like to.. to come? You look like, like you’ve been working out, and you certainly are a lot stronger than you used to be. Want to test it out?” his voice got bigger towards the end, but there was a smile in his voice. You looked at him, grinned. It couldn’t hurt. And you did want to see if you could take him on. It had been one of the thoughts that had pushed you to get stronger. “Alright. I’m game.” _This was going to be fun. _Or at least it would be a welcome distraction from what the war that was going on inside you.

Once you walked in to his place, all you could feel was the heat. It was sweltering inside the gym, but it was reassuring somehow. You took your jersey off, as well as your shoes and socks. You watched as Diego took his shirt off, his back turned to you. There were scars. So many scars. And at the same time, it was muscular. You always thought that he was ripped. But this was beautiful. The muscles on his back, and as he turned on his sides, his arms, they were something different entirely.

You looked up to see that he was staring at you, one corner of his lips pulled up into a devilishly handsome grin. “Like what you see? Or are you ready to get it on?” he asked, wrapping his hands in tight bands. You grinned at him, and pulled your top off. You heard him gasp, and you threw your t-shirt next to your jersey. You re-did your hair, and walked back to Diego. “Let’s do this then”

It could have been hours, you weren’t sure. But you were deliriously happy. The adrenaline in you, had pushed you. You were not stronger than Diego. But you were faster, you were lighter and far more flexible than him. It gave a small and simple advantage, and it was all you needed. He had cornered you several times, and all those times, you had wiggled right out from under him. Except this time, this time, he had you. Your muscles screamed in agony, your arms wanted to give out, and he had you pinned down, his weight crushing you. But you didn’t stop for one second, you didn’t stop trying to get out, get off. You used every ounce of strength you could. Until you knew. _You knew. _You always knew that he was ultimately stronger than you. And that without your powers you were nothing. That it wasn’t enough. It hurt you, and it pained you. And it pissed you off. You stopped moving, and focused on your breathing. “Give up yet?” you heard Diego’s voice. Hoarse. Breathless. “Oh honey, not even.” You croaked, and twisted your body, pushing your body up from under him, the sweat between you working in your favor, and in one quick motion, you were on top of him, his arms twisted behind him, his face on the mat, and you pushing him down, holding him.

You leaned down, enjoying pushing your breasts onto his bare back, squeezing his wrists, and pushing his arms further down, placing one of your legs across one of his. You wouldn’t be able to hold both of them down, but one was ok. You grunted, and felt him tense under you. _He was thinking. _But for now you had him, and you leaned down, sniffing him deeply, burying your face in his hair. It smelt _like him. _You let yourself have this. You couldn’t help but hum. It felt good. You felt him freeze, and you opened your eyes, realizing exactly what you’d done. You didn’t move. _How stupid could you be! _Of course he’d noticed you doing stupid things. Things you don’t do to anyone you were physically assaulting. You gritted your teeth, and gasped as you felt him topple you bringing your arms above you, trapping you under him again. Your shoulders were rolled back, and you tried to push yourself up with your legs. Diego nudged his leg between yours. You groaned. It wasn’t your muscles. It was _him. He was overwhelming. _You gasped as you heard him growl, and his eyes burnt into you. It was already hot, but somehow it got hotter. You didn’t want to stop this dance you were having with him. You gulped as you watched his eyes travel down your body, stopping just above your chest. You wanted him. You lusted for him. You were already breathing hard, but you felt your heart beat louder, faster. Would he notice?

“Diego”, you whispered his name, and his eyes shot back up at you, into your eyes. It was like he was searching for something. His breath was in your face, as yours was in his. It was taking everything out of you to not grind onto his leg, and you felt every bit of your skin prickle. Your lip quivered and you immediately bit down on it, to stop it. You were so tired. Just so very tired. “I’m…. I’m out”, you whispered. You couldn’t take it anymore, and you let your legs fall flat on the mat. “Wow, shit, wow”, Diego gasped, and collapsed next to you. “Yeah.” You mumbled, barely having any energy at all. “If you don’t mind, can I just sleep right here for the night?”, you muttered. “On the floor?” his voice came in. You drank his voice in. He was so _hot. _“Yea. I don’t think I can move for awhile” You whispered back, wanting nothing more than to sink into the floor. You felt the shame creep in, realizing what you had done, where his hands had been, where yours had. You wanted to disappear as the familiar warmth gathered in your chest, spreading slowly all over your body.

“You don’t have to move at all. You look divine.” His voice came in again. You opened your eyes and looked over at him. You couldn’t help but giggle. He looked like a school kid, his head resting on the back of his head, tilted towards you. He just stared at you. He was smiling, but he was thinking. “What’s on your mind?” you asked, trying to turn over, but groaning right after. You felt everything in you ache, and suddenly you were being lifted off the floor. “M’lady, you are not sleeping on the floor.” “Oh man!”, you moaned. You looked up at him, and felt his arms under you. You couldn’t help but giggle. “The last time you picked me up, you banged my head against two door frames and we both fell down the stairs”.

“Yea well I’m stronger now, and you kept trying to tickle me then” he retorted back. “Oh and what you can handle the tickling now, can you?” you twisted and reached over to where you knew he was always sensitive. You giggled in glee as he squirmed under your fingertips, until he dropped you and grabbed both your arms, pinning you to the door. He was breathless, and his other hand started to go to all our places. You couldn’t help but shriek in glee as you felt him tickle you silly. Until he reached your neck and you gasped. It wasn’t ticklish. Just sensitive. _Sensitive to him. _

You shook your head and squirmed, as his fingertips traced under your ear and to the back of your neck. “Urm… Diego… that’s not..” you couldn’t get the words out as you shuddered under his touch. His other hand held your arms up, and you wiggled trying to get out. His grip only tightened, and you felt his thumb trace circles on one of your wrists. You groaned internally, gritting your teeth, and you squeezed your legs together, and hoping and praying to all the gods that Diego didn’t notice. You forced yourself to open your eyes, barely managing to hold back the moan you wanted to let out. His eyes were on you, burning, again. You wanted more. You wanted him to touch you, to _want you. _You tried to get out of his grip, failing as his hold on your wrists tightened, as did his touch on your neck.

Just as soon as the thought hit you, you _knew. _You knew it wasn’t what he really wanted. That he would regret it eternally, if she let him go on now. She forced the words out. “D, stop. You don’t want this.”

“I don’t?” he mumbled back, his facing coming closer. “What about this makes you think I don’t want this?”

“Everything. This isn’t you. You never wanted this.”

“How are you so sure?”, he whispered, as he pushed his leg between yours, grinding it. You gasped, his hard muscular thigh, pushing into you. Keeping it up, it was only a matter of time until you were dripping.

“Because.. ‘cause.. this is all me. This is all… all me..D.. D.. Diego!” you cried out, as his face went straight into your neck, and sniffed you. His stubble scratched into you, his breath on your skin, and you felt the burn intensify. It spread all over you, and you arched your back, wanting _more. _You knew you had to stop, you knew. “Diego… _please… _please…” you cried out, the pain of wanting him, mixed with the pain of _knowing _that he didn’t really want you, it hurt. It stung. You gasped as he moved his leg, grinding further. You choked back a sob as you felt his lips brush against your skin.

His nose moved up, painfully slowly, until his forehead rested on yours. “What.. is it.. with you?” he whispered. His lips kissed your eyes, catching the tears as they formed. “Just tell me. Just tell me everything. Stop keeping it locked away.” You shuddered, trying to stifle back the next set of sobs that threatened to escape you. He was just _too kind. Too sweet. _

“I can’t.. can’t think straight.” You whispered back to him, and felt him push his forehead harder, forcing your head back into the wall. “Just tell me”, he urged you.

“This is me. This is all me. What you’re feeling, everything. It’s just me. You don’t want this. You don’t want me. You’ve got a girlfriend.” It spilled out of you. And you couldn’t stop, “It’s just me, it’s just me Diego. It’s not you”, and with that you felt broken, wanting nothing more than to just disappear, to be nothing. You wanted him off you, knowing that “What the hell are you talking about?!” his voice forcing you to open your eyes. He looked mad, so mad. “You’re telling me that this-“ he kissed your neck, making you choke, “and this,” he bit down into your skin, “and this,” his lips captured yours, throwing all sense left in you out the window. He was not soft, and he attacked you. Your mind was thrown, and you couldn’t breathe, as his tongue explored every part inside you, until he softened it, and teased your own tongue. You couldn’t help it anymore, and started to play with his, pushing back into his mouth, wanting more. Just as you started to, he pulled back, and you whimpered, wanting more, but _knowing. _

“You’re telling me that I’m not really feeling any of this?!” he shouted, making you tremble. You choked. It was too much. The disappointment. The reality of it all. You nodded, not wanting to speak anymore. “Please just stop.”, you whimpered, the tears stinging you, and you felt him let go. You hit the floor, collapsing. You tried but you couldn’t push it all back in. You shivered, gulping for air. Your eyes clouded, and you shut your eyes tight, pushing the palm of your hands into your eyeballs. It was cold again. You needed a hit. You needed a hit now. You were tired, but if you could just get _one hit. _

“You’re not going anywhere. Send them back.” came Diego’s voice. You tried to shake your head, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. “The clouds. Send them back, baby. You need to calm down.” Diego’s warm voice whispered. His arms lifted you up, and you tried to shrink from his touch. Instead you felt warmth, wetness. You shivered. Violently. You gasped, wanting to just pass out. “Come back, come back to me.” Diego’s voice was in your head.

_Go back. Just, don’t pass out. It’s going to be fine. Just open your eyes. _

You forced yourself and you were in the dark, under a showerhead. You shivered again, and felt something holding you up, and you were against him. You were up against Diego. His hands didn’t move, holding you tight. You gulped, and felt him tighten his hold onto you. It was a while, but eventually you were able to regain some strength. You tried to raise your hands, but they were pinned down by Diego’s hug. “Diego”, you whispered, but he didn’t move. “Diego?!” you said louder. You felt a shiver. Not yours, _his. _

You were so caught up in yourself, you hadn’t realized how all of this felt to him. You struggled, against the water, and against his hold, but he didn’t budge. “Diego, its ok. I’m ok.” You half-yelled at him, and his head jerked up. His face, was bathed in relief. “Oh hell. I thought.. I thought I lost you. “ he said, reaching behind you and turning off the shower. You nodded, and felt his arms relax. “I’m… better.” You told him, and tried to step back. “You have a lot of explaining to do” he said, as he let you go, but not completely.

“And if you think for one second, that I am just…. just some innocent spectator in all this, you are so so wrong.” He growled, making you shiver again. You nodded at him, as he turned around and grabbed some towels.

You were scared. Terrified. But you had to get it over with eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to finish this fic because a few other ideas cropped in. I didn't realize it was going to be this long when I started it. Anyway, thanks for all the kudos and reads. :")


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